love! kisses!

Being married for eleven years is a very good feeling. We have an understanding based on love, yes, but tried and tempered on good times and hard times. I have laughed (LAUGHED!) more with Sean that at all the other times of my life put together, but cried too. We have said horrible things to one another, and meant them. We have had times where I KNEW there was no hope for us, and I was proved wrong by Sean's sheer stubbournness. We are both born in the Chinese year of the Ox, or is it the Mule?

Sean and I started a conversation in 1995, and it is still heated. We talk about Politics, Religion, God, The Art Of War, Quantum Mechanics, whether light is a wave or a particle, what to do about the damn chickens/termites, the art of the bonsai potato, whether some other country would be a good place to live, music, books, how to run a water heater without burning the house down, and other gripping topics. I like the fact that Sean understands math and mechanics that I don't, and I love the way he cooks. He loves many of the things I cook, too, which is good since I do most of the cooking! I love that he is interested in bonsai potato ("few people realise that the potato is the second smartest member of the plant kingdom"). Sean is gorgeous, kind and can solve any problem. He is a great Dad, and a great friend. We have had the best fun, and the happiest times.

Our wedding ceremony was amazing, beautiful, and filled with friends and family who have continued to root for us through thick and thin.

We both read cookbooks like they are the latest novel. Is that weird? There we are, snuggled up in bed with our cookbooks! We are currently into Sushi.

I cannot understand why Sean has to leave a trail of open cupboards, drawers and toilets in his wake, or why a wet towel must be strategically placed to cause maximum dampness on beds, clothes or other towels. I also wonder why so many clothes must be covered in grease, but I live in hope. ("live in hope, die in despair!" A wise woman once said to me.) He cannot understand why I follow him about, turning lights off and locking doors. It annoys him endlessly, especially when I lock him in! I am not certain why a search for my spatula ended in back of the house, with my spatula found welded to the inside of a bucket of..... Something. Or why things must be so NOISY! But I am getting used to it?

There is something familiar about having been married for eleven years. Although our relationship has evolved, and we have grown up together, some things never change!

I can tell what Sean has been eating just by the smell of his farts, or what he has been drinking by his morning-after mood. We know each others' likes and dislikes, and what each other has read lately. We know when we reach a "good bit" in a book, whether or not our spouse would enjoy the whole book or if we should just read them that bit.

We know, when our spouse starts to giggle or weep, just which bit of a book they are reading, if we have read it before.

("A true Bonsai Potato artist learns to respect the inner vision of the potato.")

We know (now) when to take a bad mood seriously, and when to go out and leave it in peace. I know that Sean will not hit the dancefloor at a party till he has had a few drinks, so I conserve my energy till then and make polite conversation.

We know, between us, almost every song ever written. And we've written a few ourselves. We make harmonies that make our fans beg for more.

We have seen other couples, who got together with all their plans and "perfect" marriages, perfect houses, perfectly spaced kids who are always perfectly behaved, try and fail. People who were married when we were, and never did anything wrong, have divorced. Why?

We have yelled, thrown things, walked out, vowed never to return, and snuck back in. We can't keep our hands off each other, and that's the truth. We have both made major lifestyle changes for one another, and liked it. Mostly! We tolerate each others' families with remarkable patience, considering our different backgrounds (or maybe not so different, when you peel away the surface?). When Sean got his command, Fatima and I claimed that the honour was ours as much as his, and for months we referred to ourselves and one another in conversations as "Mrs. Captain S" and "Mother-of-Captain S". It made the average conversation much longer than usual!

What do we have, that makes it work? Why am I crazy for my husband? Why does he continue to crack me up? AND! Why does he laugh at my jokes, when no-one else ever does? THAT is one of the mysteries of life, one of the everlasting, spiritual, chemical, physical mysteries that makes the world keep spinning. This is a precious thing that we have. Here's to the passion, excitement, sushi and hilarity of the next eleven years!