Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Meandering My Way Back to the Centre...

I'll be FORTY ONE this month!!!!

I'm pretty excited about this. A year ago, I almost didn't notice my fortieth birthday. My gran was dying (she died the day before my birthday), two of my dear aunties had been diagnosed with cancer, I got an expensive speeding ticket due to bawling my eyes out while driving (not recommended), I had a stressful job, I was exactly in the middle of a two year divorce battle, I began the year of snot, and winter was dragging on and on (as it is again). I felt old, tired, failed, anxious and disappointed a year ago.

Good friends staged an intervention and turned up with cake and wine for that birthday, so all was not lost. They made me laugh uproariously and turned my dramas into hilarious versions of events. In my fortieth year I received so much and I feel I gave little in return. I'm considering this year a do-over of the celebration of my fourth decade, ok? Good.

The lessons I learned, and the gratitude I have for all of the love and beauty in my life, would not have been possible without the battles and sadness and anger of that year. I'm stronger and better. I'm not easily fooled, but when I am, I forgive easily. I laugh often. I accept sadness and move forward. I'm constantly inspired by wonderful friends, authors and artists.

Last year was about survival. This year is about thriving. There will be running, and yoga, and journalling, and dancing, and gratefulness.

Today is Carnival Tuesday in Trinidad - I'm longing to see everyone's photos on facebook so I can forget the Dorset Drizzle! Of course, not ONE post or pic has appeared yet from the best street party in the world, because everyone's way too busy dancing. They've been at it since 4 a.m. on Monday. Tomorrow they will be hung over, sore, sunburned and wondering where their camera is!

4 comments:

Midlife Roadtripper said...

Such a positive post. I wish you a great year ahead. Sounds like you not only deserve it, but are ready to face it head on. Go!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Here is to every awesome and grand wish coming true--the forties are YOUR TIME, lady!

Nan Sheppard said...

Thank you, thank you!

Grandmother (Mary) said...

Having gratitude is a big part of thriving from my perspective 28 years down the line from you. And I HIGHLY recommend running as another part! I just finished a half marathon where I placed 7th out of 47 women my age. Yes! I didn't start running until I turned 60 but I don't know what took me so long. I love how I feel during and after a good run. Go for it!