Internet Safety Part 2

Thank you for the wonderful advice and encouragement y'all! There's been some serious discussion going on in our household lately, about responsible internet use. Some points that were brought up:

* The internet is FREE, as in not controlled by a corporation, government or individual. (ideally!) It is controlled by internet users, and that's US. We have a responsibility to create a safe virtual world.

* There are many people who are irresponsible, and they are allowed to use the internet too! So we have to take steps to keep ourselves and our families safe. That's why responsible parents use Parental Controls to block some of the crappy content on our computer at home.

* We learned how to use the "Snipping Tool" (in accessories: I copied it to the desktop) to take a screen shot, and discussed ways of reporting sites and users.

* We talked about how a friend of a friend's daughter was in a chat room and said to her Mom, "Something strange here." Her mom called the mom of the cousin she was chatting with, and the moms pretended to be the girls. They agreed to meet another "girl" they were chatting with, called the police, and a known sex offender was arrested at the scene. What a good thing that girl had her mom right there, and had the intuition to feel that something was wrong!

* We discussed how people who spend too much time in computer games, internet, and TV have lower school grades. We talked about how it can be addictive, and how watching violence and hate desensitises us and makes us want more. It also encourages owners of those sites to produce more.

* We discussed the difference between internet friends and "Real" friends. "How many FRIENDS do I have, guys?" got answers from hundreds, to thirty, to five.

* I said that I could, and would, check their internet use history.

So far so good, I think. I am not overly worried about occasional exposure to crap online, but more about habitual searching for a thrill. One great way to break a habit is to cut off availability, as one commenter said. If I find any boy playing the fool online, their computer privileges will be revoked. I want them to know what's out there, as Chutney Garden pointed out, so they aren't completely overwhelmed when they are exposed.

And stuff comes up that you're not even looking for! I remember one day in Chicklands, the kids were all crowded round the computer... Mikey, Issa, and my three, and they were youtubing and cracking up at all the funny stuff. Suddenly they got quiet, and when I looked over it was animated skeletons in every sexy position imaginable! I just switched it off and shooed them outside, but I should have reported it to youtube. I didn't think! The "stick man" and "lego" stuff can also be violent and isn't easily picked up by filter & control programs.

As Lou pointed out, YES that are great kids, and they want to do the right thing. Hopefully that desire to do the right thing will be stronger than the lure of exciting concepts like Phone Pranks! Laying down the law, making it clear what is acceptable, is a good thing for boys.

Green Girl, see if you can chase down your hubby's plan for the future. We need info from those in the know!

Hi Hayley! Any suggestions as resident teen? SteffieBeans, are you out there? Megan? I know you guys know chat rooms way better than I ever could, have you encountered any weirdness? What suggestions would you give a parent of kids younger than yourselves, to keep them safe and prevent naughtiness on the computer? I would really appreciate your input.

I know I've forgotten some stuff, but I have a feeling this conversation is going to continue for a while so anything I've left out, and your observations, can go into the next post. Keep those comments rolling!

Internet Safety

So now that we have internet again, I've set the boys up with their own screen. Parental controls and stuff. It's good. But while Chas and Max will do whatever they set out to do online and be done with it, Sam will follow links until he gets into trouble.

Yes, we've got parental controls. Yes, I hover. Yes, We've talked about it. Till I'm blue in the face. But Sam will go to a friend or family member, and Sam will be drawn to the screen, like a moth to a flame, and before I know it he's watching Wrestling or Prank Calls or Naked Santa Dancing or violent games. He's also pretty good at getting past piffling things like parental controls, and at guessing passwords. Naughty. Is the word I'm looking for here.

So internetties. You always have good answers for me. What can I do? I would like him to feel that the internet is a wonderful place, full of good things. He needs to learn to use the internet as a tool, and not just browse without thought. He's a strange kid, very high IQ and I think he prefers the company of a computer to that of a human. He also tends to believe what he reads, moreso than what he's told. (yes I got a little poster-thingy and gave it to him, "Internet Safety". I've looked online, and so far no great advice beyond what I'm already doing.

How can I keep my ten-year-old boy from learning wicked things online? I worry.

Things I've Found In English Pockets

Conkers. These get terribly crinkly in the wash and lose all of their shinyness.

Lavender’s blue, dilly dilly, which the boys pick whenever they see it and put it into their pockets and mine. It smells beautiful. The lavender is mostly all done now, and leaves are starting to fall. We don't see blackberries on the bushes any more (maybe we've eaten them all?)

Sand. Comes of wearing long “trousers” to the beach. (Whenever I say “Pants”, English people snicker. Pants are underwear, apparently. And a “Trunk” is not a Boot. Terribly confusing.)

Acorns.

Pound coins! Haha! I get rich. People wonder where their allowance went to. Sam is reading over my shoulder, so now he knows….

Maltesers wrappers. Sam says that’s how it’s spelt. Oh, sorry, Sam, “Spelled”. Apparently “Spelt” is a flour. Go away and stop editing over my shoulder, you!

Because I said so!

Where was I? Pebbles and shells.

Keys for bike locks and front door.

Fuzz. There appears to be more lint in England than in Trinidad. Any theories as to why?

And there you have it. Very different pocket contents! And a very different lifestyle. I am sitting at the kitchen window on the bench, behind the kitchen table, y'know the one. My back against the wall and a cup of tea... And Sharon and Jamie on Skype!

Sean and Chas have gone out on bikes, exploring. Sam and Max are jumping on the trampoline. The sun is shining, cool breeze.

What's in your pockets, internetties?

Oh, and P.S., We have been buying INGREDIENTS and Sam is all geared up to start making cakes. He needs some more great recipes on Rainforest Information, please! (we should change the name to rainforest information, poetry, and recipes. Chas is peeved and says Sam had better get his OWN blog!)

Quote Of The Day

" 'Does it work? Are they happier dead?'

'Sometimes. Mostly, no. It's like people who believe they'll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, but who learn it doesn't work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. If you see what I mean.'

'Sort of,' said Bod. "

From "The Graveyard Book", by Neil Gaiman

Internet! At Laaaaast!

We haven't had a dull moment here...

We had Max's birthday party on Sunday, and Ailis and her fiancée stayed for a couple of nights, and my sister-in-law Sheena (or "Beans" to those in the know) arrived from London laden with presents the day Ailis and Dan left... so we've had a really busy week! And today internet was connected. Hooray!

This is our kitchen. Yay! I love my kitchen! Much cooking is happening!

This is the birthday party view out of the kitchen window. "Trampoline Badminton", the game that's sweeping the nation!

Another kitchen view, cuz I know y'all just can't get enough.

And that's all you get for now, I'm afraid! The boys will be home soon (Sam and Max's school is across the road, I can see into the playground from the Western side of the house; Chas rides his bike to and fro. It's a bit different from our previous commute, eh?) ... and we have to go to the doctor's to register ourselves and THEN we have another appointment. The piles of paperwork have been frightening! And as soon as I see the end in sight I do something silly like apply for a phone, and another pile of mail comes through the door. I see the end in sight AGAIN now, so the next few weeks should be slightly less hectic? Sean is coming this weekend for a couple of weeks, so we will try to do fun things together while the weather holds out. (The weather's been really nice. I keep commenting on it, "Lovely weather we're having" which makes Ailis giggle "Look how English you're becoming!")

I am looking forward to tonight: after storytime, (We've just finished Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third's seventh adventure, "How To Ride A Dragon's Storm", and recommend the whole series highly!) (We can go to the bookstore here and get ANYTHING!) (Sometimes we just go to the bookstore and lie on the floor and read stuff!) (Am reading Richard Dawkins' "The Blind Watchmaker" and it's great) What was I saying? Yes: Tonight, I will catch up on everyone's bloggy news. See you then!

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. - Mahatma Gandhi

Thursday Thirteen: Gratitude

Thursday Thirteen: Gratitude

At least, I started writing this on Thursday, it is now Friday and I won’t get online until Saturday. But Thursday Thirteen it is, anyway!

(Edited: Oh look! It's now Tuesday!)

I am constantly grateful for the many good things that have come to pass in the last week. It seems as though nothing can go wrong, and if it does, there is a friend or sister to “sort it out” with no fuss at all. Here’s a partial list, in no particular order:

1. Really nice downstairs neighbours with three really nice kids (two girls and a middle boy, the eldest is in the year above Max). They are so helpful and friendly AND they have a big trampoline in the yard! The kids all play together every afternoon. Small Downstairs Girl is my favourite, she is absolutely cute and friendly and the boys are all in love with her.

2. My skin-and-blister, Ailis, Sorter-Out-Extraordinaire. “No, this will not do” being my favourite thing to hear from her because it means “I am going to SORT THIS OUT!” And then she does! Ailis is seven and a half years younger than me, and being bossed about by your little sister is something everyone should get to experience. Thank you my darling!

3. Buckets of strawberries and double cream (I will have to do some sit-ups if this keeps up). Organic food. Fuzzy foot-snuggies. Scarves. Free unlimited texts on O2 Mobile. Buses. Trains. Footpaths. (Updated: okay, switching to yogurt with my berries...)

4. Cherise, who turns up and saves my skin just when I’m thinking “How on earth am I going to get There for two o’clock and then go to the Uniform Shoppe in bloody Seaborne before it closes WITH three children in tow?” And she collects and delivers great big heavy things with her strong husband, carries them up stairs, invites us to dinner and says “what you need, lovie, is a shoe rack”, and brings one over.

5. Charlotte! Carole and Dave! Boxes of nice practical hand-me-downs!

6. Elena and Becky at the Letting Agency, who have gone above and beyond. Also the guys next door at the refurbished appliance shop.

7. A sunny kitchen with big windows facing East and small window facing South, large enough to fit a big table and clothes drying rack and all mod cons and STILL swing a cat. Very Feng Shui. Though the hypothetical cat may disagree. Schroedinger, we’ll call him.

8. Winning an Amazing Wraparound Hat, courtesy of Lady Diva! This hat is not only stylish, but will keep my ears and neck warm! I’ve never won anything before! You have to check it out, you’ll be so jealous!

9. The downstairs neighbours are from warm climes too, and I think they turn their heating on at night even though it’s summer, because it’s mighty cozy up here in the mornings! We have Gas Central Heating, Double Glazing and the boys’ bedroom and living room are facing West. The afternoon sun streams in and makes bedtime toasty. I’m glad, because in December we’ll need all the warmth we can get! (And no, the sun, alas, does not stream in December. But it might glimmer.)

10. The Beach, and the Park. Yesterday was gorgeous, so I decided not to clean the oven and Sam and Max and I went to the beach instead with our sandwiches. We collected shells and rocks, and put them in our bag. Then all the way home we said “why is this bag so heavy?”

11. Chas had a happy First Day Of School, and his music teacher is groovy and loves West Indian music. He has a day outing on the bus TO BELGIUM next month, to visit Ypres Battlefield. HOW COOL IS THAT? Sam and Max should start school next week when the red tape is all tied up. They can see the kids playing in the school playground across the road, and it’s torture I tell you!

12. That I don’t have to be working while all this is going on. It would have been impossible. Moving countries with three kids, on my own, has been HARD. The heaps of paperwork, phone calls, long walks down the wrong street, heavy shopping bags, and countless chores and boring outings with three kids in tow has tried our patience and our feet. The boys have been 99% amazing, more mature and responsible than any boys should be expected to be.

13. The Universe, from whom all things come exactly when and how they ought to.

Blonk Drogging, Parte Deux!

I know I need to do a post, and Lou and I just had a conversation which is qiute informative so HERE is some information!

Lou: hey!

Okay - I guess you're away from your system.

Ta, dahling.

Sent at 20:31 on Saturday

me: Oh helloo! sorry, just ordering my new kitchen table online, dahling...

not paying attebtion to other opened windows.

Lou: no problem - just saw your green button and thought I'd say hey.

How'ss it going - and please tell me you're going to be able to get Internet access sorted.

Sent at 20:52 on Saturday

me: Will get internet as quickly as possible... Need to stay in touch with everyone!

Having a great time, surrounded by loving helpful friends and family.

Lou: I'd forgotten about your family connections to England - i thought this was all going to be new for you

me: Nah, my sister is here at this very moment, bossing me through the Ikea website. I am grateful! She's reading over my shoulder and giggling.

We went to Ikea today and spent toooo much!

Lou: Easy to do, I'm sure. I'm so glad you have so many family and friends around you. That's grand. It'll make it easer for hte boys to trasnsition.

me: My cousin helped me to find my new flat, she is the sweetest thing... 3 carloads of us are driving to Bournemouth tomorrow, to get us there and all our stuff!

Lou: Pictures!!! we need pictures.

me: Sooooon!

Lou: Besides, I ant to see if hte rest of hte family is as pretty as you are.

me: Oh, that reminds me, uncle Pat has pics on his camera I need to lift..

Ia m getting drunk. Ailis says "I am the MOST gorgeous. But I was exchanged at birth"

Lou: Drunk chatting!! Dangerous.

me: She says "Not YOU, *I*"!

I should copy and paste this, and make it into a post. Very informative.

Lou: Hah.

me: We are in hysterics now.

Lou: well, you have a good time - I have to get back to work so i get my Yardwork done.

me: I am drinking, but Ailis is getting drunk.

Lou: And not you??? Rum?

me: Yes, RUN AWAAAAAY from the mad drunk chicks!

Red wine.

Mmmmmm.

Lou: Oooo. worse.

hangover city.

me: Very worse.

I may be useless tomorrow morning, but it's a good send-off.

We have Pat in hysterics too.

Sent at 21:02 on Saturday

Lou: I can tell you're drinking - it takes a LONG time to enter very little text.

me: Anyway, you go do your yardwork, Lois has arrived so we are going to have dessert. Strawberries and things!

Lou: Ta Ta, my dear. Be Well.

me: You should /SEEEE some og the spelling mistakes that I have had to delette.

Okay, no I can't type at all. Good nite lou,

Lou: I'm sure. Catch up with your 'Sarah' reading - i would like your opinion.

me: Ailis and I are intears. Bye!

So. Oh, wait, this is bold... I cant figure out how to change it. Live with it, internetties. So. As I wassaying. We got a great kitchen table, and duvets, and blankies, anf cutlery. Sensible, that kind of thinys.

We got Pat rile d up describing our visit to the museum. Words were bandied like "Underdillo" and "Lubrinineted" and "Mistweeted" which are INSIDE JOKES people, don't even try to understand.

Ailis is threatening to pour cold water on me if I can't get up in the morning. It is late, and my children are not remotely in bed. Goodnight my friiends online! I will try to get internet ASAP, so i don;t miss yot too much.

A shout out to my friends and family in england: I love you! Thank you so much ro being so wonderfil now, and I love you!

A Quiet Moment

Sam came running through the house yesterday. "You HAVE to come and listen to this!!" So I did. He took me into the centre of the living room and said "Shhhhh. Be absolutely quiet."

As the silence wrapped itself around us, I heard it: the ticking of dozens of clocks, the swinging of pendulums, the tiny noises of gears changing minutes. Sweeeeet. And only Sam would ever have been quiet long enough to hear this strangely comforting sound.

Pat and my aunty Ina, who died earlier this year, have collected clocks for ever. Today is clock-winding day, so I picked up the "key-ring", a bunch of clock keys in different sizes, some with fancy olde handles, one with a sort of crank turner, and I went around the clocks winding them up. Chas watched in fascination as weights went up and he stopped a pendulum with the gentlest touch. We started it going again, tick, tick, tick. I love these old clocks. Every hour a whole bunch of them start to ding and dong, or chime, or even cuckoo! The cuckoo clock is in for repairs this week, and I can't say I miss it dreadfully... I prefer chimes to CUCKOO! CUCKOO! But the cuckoo was Ina's favorite I think, and that makes it special.

The house is so strange without Ina here. I have spent plenty of time here over the years, but seldom without the Ina prescence, cooking mountains of food for hordes of hungry people and giving good advice. The house is quiet these days.

Except for the clocks.

The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly On Bournemouth

It's a good thing my sister dragged me to TK Maxx and made me buy a decent weatherproof WARM jacket for Max, because the beach in Bournemouth is NOT Toco, my lovies. My cousin Charlotte, her sweet daughter Venus, Max and I walked to the beach last week while we were flat-hunting, and it rained, and blew, in that typically cold windy wet English way. We looked out to sea, and imagined Chas and Sam and uncle Pat and crew, yachting wetly. Then we walked back. Max and Venus had a great time, giggling and playing and putting sand in their pockets, heads together deep in discussion about this and that. Carlotte and I walked briskly, I getting damper as the rain seeped through my anorak...

It was much nicer the next day. Sunny, even! Chas and Sam sailed again and had "The best day ever" with wild winds and 7.5 knots sailing! They have proper gear for their top halves, but if they are going to sail any more this season I will need to get them some legs and boots. There were waves swooshing over the decks, soaking them and making their feet numb.

And did we find a flat, in between all of the fun? YES! It's nice, roomy (a roomy English flat! What a find!) with a big kitchen AND it's across the road from the primary school, on a dead end! Ta-daaa! Many thanks for all of the good vibes, and the experienced Charlotte's assistance! We are moving in on Sunday.

Now, we have to walk to the park IMMEDIATELY, since Chas' new rubberband-propeller plane is repaired and ready. My uncle Pat is in Italy, so we are house-and-dog-sitting. The dogs know that there is a walk in the park about to happen, so they are going wild. I will post more soon, with pictures. I'll also catch up on everyone's news this week too, now that I am getting it all together. Cheerio, Dahlings!