drunken ode to my friend:

Well hello there, and thanks a lot
For coming over for a spot
Of wine, a whole bottle and some!
And spaghetti, oh boy that was yum!

I hope your son feels better now,
And I think that he should take a bow
For puking up all those marshmallows
In my backyard! And it just shows

That his aim is better than before,
When he did it all over the floor,
...And the bed, and down the wall, and the window sill, and all over the toys, and down the outside wall, and all over the window panes, but he missed the keyboard for which I will be eternally grateful.

I forgot to rhyme there.

And I do love your daughter,
For her scandalous laughter,
(ha ha! Good rhyme, methinks!)
Even though she is of an age
When many girls rant and rage
And (like we did) despise our mother,
And our father and our brother.

Don't despair, for there is hope!
In a few short years she may elope
With some rich guy and then another
One will be the enemy - HIS mother!

And you may have noticed, this one rhymes,
In recognition of all the times
We have sat and read out verse
To one another - or worse,
Whole poems by Khayyam and Frost
About love and life and horses lost.

And some would think its pretty weird
That we would relate prose we've heard
And drink wine, while our darling kids...
Well, who knows what they dids!

But they smelled of smoke when they came back,
And oh dear and alas alack,
It seems they toasted marshmallows
(which causes cancer,) And that just shows

That poor things, their mothers are no good
For letting them all over the neighbourhood.
And if we were good mummies as can be,
We'd keep them inside to watch TV!

***

But visiting and getting drunk
Is a good technique, I thunk,
For avoiding plumbing disasters
And leaving your man to deal with the plumber and his plasters.

I hope that the floods now cease,
And your toilet has no more release
Of stuff onto your bathroom floor!
Especially as tomorrow will be more

Fun than usual, and more kids pooping
Because we are gonna scare them silly!

Comments

Islandgirl said…
HAHAHAHAHAHA Had forgotten you wrote this...we have to write an ode to getting pregnant (or not) on red wine when you come home!!