Well, tonight Sam and Max both have runny noses, and are complaining of itchy throats. I was JUST saying, to anyone who would listen, "These kids never get sick! It's all the fresh air, good food and excellent lifestyle!" (Patting self on back) so NATURALLY they had to get a cold.
So I gave them a couple drops of homeopathic stuff from the homeopathic guy, and rubbed Vicks on their feet. This is an old wives' remedy which works, by the way. Rub Vicks on feet, put socks on, go to sleep for the night. Sam said "WHY are you putting it on our feet if our noses are what's clogged up?" ("yeah, WHY", says Max). So I said:
"His Aunt Jubiska said, 'No harm,
'Can come to his nose if his toes are warm.'"
Which they found totally hilarious, and they recited the rest of the poem, mixing up the other words and being very silly.
Which made me think: what is weirder, that I can recite obscure Edward Lear poems at will, or that my children know when I have changed the words to suit my purposes? Apparently, I am raising a family of useless NERDS. Maybe I should have been reciting the table of elements or something, all this time. I mean, who NEEDS Edward Lear??
Anyway, apart from runny noses they are well enough to giggle all the way through their own twisted version of "The Pobble Who Had No Toes", so Operation Back To School is a GO, people!
I remember when Chas started school when he was four, and brought home EVERY GERM for the family to try out. We spent a year or two having colds. It was ridiculous. Chas would get it, then Sam, then once Max was weaned he got them, and OF COURSE, after a week or so of my being up all night nursing sick children back to health, I would get it WORSE than EVERYONE! Then Chas would begin again with a new mutation of whatever virus it was. Sean used to say, "See? You have to take up smoking and drinking. I never get sick, never!" at which point I would sneeze at him. Cough in his coffee.
Eventually, we had had them all. So we are now completely immune. Just occasionally, one crops up that snuck past our original exposure fiesta, and this may be one. I had better peel a few oranges to put in lunchboxes tomorrow. And find a Table of Elements to intone all the way to school, and fill my boys' heads up with useful information that people need! Stuff that will impress! I wonder if I can get it on CD???
Nah.
So I gave them a couple drops of homeopathic stuff from the homeopathic guy, and rubbed Vicks on their feet. This is an old wives' remedy which works, by the way. Rub Vicks on feet, put socks on, go to sleep for the night. Sam said "WHY are you putting it on our feet if our noses are what's clogged up?" ("yeah, WHY", says Max). So I said:
"His Aunt Jubiska said, 'No harm,
'Can come to his nose if his toes are warm.'"
Which they found totally hilarious, and they recited the rest of the poem, mixing up the other words and being very silly.
Which made me think: what is weirder, that I can recite obscure Edward Lear poems at will, or that my children know when I have changed the words to suit my purposes? Apparently, I am raising a family of useless NERDS. Maybe I should have been reciting the table of elements or something, all this time. I mean, who NEEDS Edward Lear??
Anyway, apart from runny noses they are well enough to giggle all the way through their own twisted version of "The Pobble Who Had No Toes", so Operation Back To School is a GO, people!
I remember when Chas started school when he was four, and brought home EVERY GERM for the family to try out. We spent a year or two having colds. It was ridiculous. Chas would get it, then Sam, then once Max was weaned he got them, and OF COURSE, after a week or so of my being up all night nursing sick children back to health, I would get it WORSE than EVERYONE! Then Chas would begin again with a new mutation of whatever virus it was. Sean used to say, "See? You have to take up smoking and drinking. I never get sick, never!" at which point I would sneeze at him. Cough in his coffee.
Eventually, we had had them all. So we are now completely immune. Just occasionally, one crops up that snuck past our original exposure fiesta, and this may be one. I had better peel a few oranges to put in lunchboxes tomorrow. And find a Table of Elements to intone all the way to school, and fill my boys' heads up with useful information that people need! Stuff that will impress! I wonder if I can get it on CD???
Nah.
Comments
Vicious stupids germs. I hate kindergarten!
Here's to good health. Salud!
I love Edward Lear. I never found anyone else who'd even heard of him. What a happy discovery!
Hope they (and you) survived yesterday!
And poetry is waaaaaaaay more useful than the periodic table! Look how valuable it was for you to explain your vicks on their feet! How often do you go reciting ''Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium. Beryllium, Boron, Carbon...''
AND! The best cure for a cold is to go to the beach. So i think you should not go to school today, and head to maracas :)