Nan Sheppard, Anthropologist
Totally depends who. I used to be super tight with my neighbors and we all sort of co-parented. Now, there are very few people I'd appreciate that from...And I laughed at your shoe story on my blog-- that's so sad!! "ANY of these shoes?" LOL!
Hehe, wonder where this came from? I am a-okay with someone parenting my child if I step out of the room or if I miss something. But I don't appreciate people trying to usurp my parental power right in front of me. Thanks, but I will take care of it.
It takes a village to raise a child..I firmly believe that..and maybe the world is in the sorry mess it is in because everyone just started looking the other way. "Not my kid, not my problem". I have news for you buddy..that kid becomes EVERYONE'S problem if there is no one loving enough, strong enough and kind enough to step in and let him know what is acceptable and what is not. Unruly children become selfish, thoughtless, reckless adults. I think everyone has a duty to upbraid a child in a case of rudeness, bullying or downright meanness. If my children were getting out of line in any of these departments I sure would want them to be told off if I wasn't there to do it myself. Mainly though, children learn by example..we all need to set a good example and do it with love. And yes, sometimes parents need a good talking to as well.
So Sharon totally said what I was going to.
I came over from Scary Mommy because I loved your comment about being in the shoe store with your youngest. I can relate. I don't think my fourth one has ever even owned any new underwear!And on this topic, I must agree with nikki. I would feel awkward if someone corrected what I was doing with my kids with me right there - unless I wasn't paying attention. Which has happened.
The parents of unruly kids need a swift kick in the ass, to watch your child doing stupid, hurtful or disrespectful things and then say " what am I gonna do with him....hah hah " is a reflection of your personal bias and immaturity,and this can be destructive to the poor kid who will grow up to be an asshole.So you wanna stand on the wayside and let your kid rot....., not in my house, stand back and watch.....and shaddup or you'll be next.Children need to be taught to be respectful of all adults they encounter...they don't have to take candy from a stranger but they do need to know that when Aunty says..."Stop, that's not nice" or "now put your plate in the sink and go wash your hands" that it is for their own good and this type of behavior must taught at home and reinforced whenever and wherever necessary.If a parent neglects to teach her kids good manners and the difference between right and wrong, then it is the right of society to deal with the lil' imps for the sakeof our own future.You may speak.S
If there is a risk of blood being spilled then YES. And when people address my kids? I am mortified that they deserved rebuke. it's rare that I take exception to it--that's only happened on 2-3 occasions.
When I was a kid, there was a man named Rossi who lived the next block over. One day, Mr. Rossi hit me. Just smacked me upside the head for no particular reason (or maybe it was because I was cutting through his yard, I forget). Anyway, I ran home and told my Dad, "Daddy, Mr. Rossi hit me!!", whereupon, my dad smacked me and said, "If Joe Rossi hit you he must have had a reason."It takes a village. Not that I would hit someone else's child, but you get the idea.
I totally believe it takes a village. Of course, I don't think there should be "hitting" involved because parents often disagree on what's appropriate, but scolding is entirely appropriate. Period.
If I'm not present or can't get there, I hope responsible people will step in and scold my children. Or at least let me know what they've done so I can.I'll do the same with other kids... especially if their parents don't even seem to notice or care that their kids are behaving badly.
Yes, Nikki, your post got me thinking! I am a shameless parenter of other people's kids, and love it when people take over for me from time to time. But we have a great group here, with similar ideas. I wonder what it will be like when we move to the UK?
http://www.trinidadexpress.com/index.pl/article_news?id=161410868 - So funny that this should be the topic of an article in today's Express newspaper - BBC Looking for Strict T& T Parents for reality show (to tame unruly british teens!)
Aye Nan..want to take up the challenge?? :-) You can send them outside to live in a tent and catch their own dinner out of the pond! HAHAH :-)
People are touchy here. But if a child is being a turd on my turf, I correct them.
I agree with most everyone else--depends a bit who, and not in front of me, but other than that, I'm fine with others stepping in. Share the load, is my philosophy.
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