Wednesday, 29 April 2009

A Load Of Manure

O my Bloggies and my Friends! It is very very HOT here these days, and I am missing my quiet airconditioned studio. And, my son, he who started to talk at nine months and HAS NEVER STOPPED SINCE, omygod that child can talk. How have his teachers tolerated him? When he was 18 months old he said things like, "What do turtles eat? There's an alligator in the kitchen! I think it might be noisy. It has a lot of legs." Which is very nice, when a child is very small, and you can smugly say "Well *smirk* he's breastfed on demand don'tyouknow" but when he is eleven and needs to learn about brooding adolescent silences you just want to say "WOULD YOU JUST GO AND BROOD FOR PETES SAKE LIKE A NORMAL ADOLESCENT!"

Inhale.

Fortunately for the survival of this homeschool, today a huge truckload of manure arrived and I sent the boys off to help shovel it into a huge heap which now blocks part of the driveway. And then, the dog flopped herself down in the kitchen and I saw a meeeelion tiny ticks crawling away from her so I FREAKED THE HELL OUT, put the boys out again in mid-math, and sprayed baygon everywhere. Then, I bathed all dogs in the vicinity with deadly poison. Strangely, none of them had ticks. I think that Samba must have gone out in the bush, lay down in a tick-infested patch, and they all jumped on her.

If I HAD been at work in my peaceful airconditioned studio, The ticks would have ensconced themselves in my house until they were all BIG and FAT and HORRIBLE and BREEDING and then I would have discovered them on the weekend by which time it WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO LATE! So YAY for homeschooling! It has saved the day!

All I need to do is think of a way to squash the childrens' happy exuberant spirits. No, shoveling manure didn't do it. Any suggestions?

12 comments:

AmyL said...

Oh Nan, you SO have my sympathies! The Manager is a talker as well and he never. stops. talking.

Ever.

Yesterday he was playing on the computer in the office while I was using the laptop and he vocalized the whole entire time, even though no one was responding. I think he just likes to hear himself talk. And sing. And jabber. And....oh my. After his time was up I was very happy to send him outdoors to run off some of that energy. Because ohmygoodness, there's never a moment of silence.

One good thing is that I am FABULOUS at ignoring background noise now. The scary thing is he's only 6. Wow, can that boy talk.

If you figure out a way to achieve peace please advise!

Islandgirl said...

Art teacher also has large roll of duct tape. Will trade for more brownies (like red colour pencils). Text SOS to normal number if needed!

witchypoo said...

Sometimes the big talkers never leave home.

i am the diva said...

ugh, i visibly shuddered when you said ticks... i had one on my leg when i was six months pregnant... and then i said "EFF YOU OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES!!"

Candygirlflies said...

Hee.

Awesome.

Don't you DARE squash that boy... He is perfect!!

I say: crank up some music to drown out the sound of his voice for awhile, and let the good times roll, baby!!

xoxoxo CGF

LceeL said...

Get him a girlfriend.

Nan said...

Aaaaargh! What if she talks too?

BlueBella said...

Will trade talkative twin toddlers for talkative tween. . .!

LceeL said...

If SHE talks, she won't let him get a word in edgewise. So it will still be one voice - but a girl. Which you can relate to. 'Cause YOU'RE a girl.

Nan said...

True. I COULD relate to a girl. I look forward to it!

Life As I Know It said...

Hey Nan! Thanks for the comment awhile ago - I'm back and catching up on bloggy friends!

Islandgirl said...

NOOOO don't get a tween girl...they turn into teenagers..you you know how THAT goes....the crying, the tantrums...stick wit yuh boychile!Besides - he has ENOUGH trees to climb and so do you if the going gets tough!!
(ps..if you still have delusions of how wonderful life would be with a teen girl I will lend you mine :-) )