Thursday, 28 May 2009

Beauty And The Droop

A certain leading magazine has a list of 25 of the top Things! I! Must! Have! for 2009! If I run out and buy these things right now, I will

*Look Younger From The Neck Down

* Stimulate Nail Growth

* Figure Out What "Stratospherically" Means

* Say Buh-bye To Brown Spots

* Save Myself The Salon Expense

* Take My Hair To The Next Level

* Extend My Blowout (is this something to do with sex?)

* Let My Vibrating Mascara Do The Wiggle Work For Me

And all this, ladies, for a total cost of only (wait, there has to be a calculator here somewhere...) $747.77 !!!! That's US dollars, baby. Of course, some of those products can last up to a year, so there's good value for your last few shekels!

Sometimes, I almost go for it. Could it be that my living in the scorching tropics, which has yes, given be naturally sun-kissed hair, but has also given me skin which appears ten years older than it really is, is cheating me of love, friends, and all things wonderful? Is the time I spend wiggling my mascara robbing me of a better quality of life?

Can reading these magazines really be any good for me? It is so easy to come away from a glossy magazine feeling that I MUST do something about the wrinkles and droops, the spots of various hues, the faults. THE FAULTS! A former Miss Universe contestant who I know and love (hi sweetie!) says that I absolutely must wear a little makeup every day. I would like to! I would! And maybe someday I will! There's a diva in me somewhere, one who loves eyeliner and plans on wearing it. But the days go by and somehow, every day, unless there's a gala event to attend, I shake my wet hair out, slap on some sunscreen and carry on. And somehow, I am happy.

But still the magazine thoughts nag. AM I getting the best out of my moisturizer? DOES my mascara really lengthen? SHOULD I toss my hair products?

Fortunately, I am heading to the beach house this weekend. My girlfriends can talk me down from this ledge over a glass of wine. I love them no matter what they look like, which is a good thing cuz at the beach, we are alllll about comfort and relaxation. If you're looking for hot beach babes, don't head our way. You'll find a gaggle of moms deep in a scrabble game, wearing their oldest comfy t-shirts and shorts and wondering if anyone remembered a razor.

8 comments:

Life As I Know It said...

It would be very easy to drive yourself crazy over beauty products - each claiming to remedy whatever "problem" you may have.
Use a good sunscreen and a good moisturizer and enjoy some wine ;)

LceeL said...

You are one of the loveliest women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting - a true and classic beauty. And I LOVE the fact that you are so lovely without artifice.

witchypoo said...

Wut Lou said.

Nan said...

Awww shucks. But beauty is a) in the eye of the beholder, and b) comes from within. That's what I think.

I'm lucky to have been born a skinny blonde with "good cheekbones" et al, but the perfection that we see in the media can make anyone feel like a frump! Down with Media Perfection!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I never read those magazines. I believe their sole purpose is to make us hate ourselves.

Chas, Sam and Max said...

Well, if we love ourselves we won't need to spend money on beauty products. So there you go! Capitalism!

planetnomad said...

Ugh. I hate how I feel after I read those magazines.

Islandgirl said...

I'm bringing those magazines down to make a bonfire on the beach so we can toast marshmellows and sausages!! WOOHOO!! Beautiful,natural Mayaro babes the last witch to complete the coven will see ya in the morning! cackle cackle cackle!!! Wonder if we can come up with any spells by wiggling our mascara wands???