A certain leading magazine has a list of 25 of the top Things! I! Must! Have! for 2009! If I run out and buy these things right now, I will
*Look Younger From The Neck Down
* Stimulate Nail Growth
* Figure Out What "Stratospherically" Means
* Say Buh-bye To Brown Spots
* Save Myself The Salon Expense
* Take My Hair To The Next Level
* Extend My Blowout (is this something to do with sex?)
* Let My Vibrating Mascara Do The Wiggle Work For Me
And all this, ladies, for a total cost of only (wait, there has to be a calculator here somewhere...) $747.77 !!!! That's US dollars, baby. Of course, some of those products can last up to a year, so there's good value for your last few shekels!
Sometimes, I almost go for it. Could it be that my living in the scorching tropics, which has yes, given be naturally sun-kissed hair, but has also given me skin which appears ten years older than it really is, is cheating me of love, friends, and all things wonderful? Is the time I spend wiggling my mascara robbing me of a better quality of life?
Can reading these magazines really be any good for me? It is so easy to come away from a glossy magazine feeling that I MUST do something about the wrinkles and droops, the spots of various hues, the faults. THE FAULTS! A former Miss Universe contestant who I know and love (hi sweetie!) says that I absolutely must wear a little makeup every day. I would like to! I would! And maybe someday I will! There's a diva in me somewhere, one who loves eyeliner and plans on wearing it. But the days go by and somehow, every day, unless there's a gala event to attend, I shake my wet hair out, slap on some sunscreen and carry on. And somehow, I am happy.
But still the magazine thoughts nag. AM I getting the best out of my moisturizer? DOES my mascara really lengthen? SHOULD I toss my hair products?
Fortunately, I am heading to the beach house this weekend. My girlfriends can talk me down from this ledge over a glass of wine. I love them no matter what they look like, which is a good thing cuz at the beach, we are alllll about comfort and relaxation. If you're looking for hot beach babes, don't head our way. You'll find a gaggle of moms deep in a scrabble game, wearing their oldest comfy t-shirts and shorts and wondering if anyone remembered a razor.