Your Agony Aunt is IN


There is this guy, like, at work who I think likes me and, like, I like him. Well, we have flirted a bit at the water cooler and, like, at the photocopier. Anyway, we both found ourselves, like, in the stationery cupboard. And, like, I didn't know what to say to him. And, like, he couldn't wait to get out of there. What should I do? Do you think he really does like me? And if so, should I, like, wait for him to ask me out or should I, like, ask him? 

Many thanks, Confused in Herts

Dear Confused, 

It is obvious that this guy is crazy about you! What you need to do is this: Lurk near to the stationery cupboard, as much as possible. All day if you can! If you see him coming, grab him, drag him in there and profess your undying lust. Failing this, you may need to take the above action with someone in your company who is superior to both you and the object of your desire... this will prompt your guy to know his true feelings. 

Best of luck!


Dear TIFIP, 

I think my beautiful gourami has a bacterial infection. He was doing so well too! And I can't get the thermostat to sit an even 26 degrees. It keeps spiking at 30. Think I might need a new heater.

And then when I was trying to pin up the spray on my orchid - it snapped off!! Gutted I tell you!

So I'm feeling a little traumatized!

Dear Traumatized, 

Minced Gourami makes an excellent orchid fertilizer. 




On telling one's best friend that one's eldest son, aged nine, has been diagnosed with atypical autism, and receiving the reply, "Well, c'mon, he's always been weird. Everybody knows that. How could you not have noticed?", do I:-

a) slap her?
b) walk away sobbing slightly ? or
c) please fill in this blank for me with a socially acceptable, yet satisfying option.

Dear Sobbing, 

My first reaction is to offer to send you some minced gourami to hide in her sock drawer. And I DO think that would be socially acceptable in any sensible society (plus she'll never know it was you!) 

My second reaction is: Is your friend usually so unfeeling? Sometimes people say really stupid and hurtful things because they have had a dreadful day or are stressed out about something you aren't even aware of. If you think this may be the case, perhaps you could try broaching the subject with her again. "I feel so low about his atypical autism diagnosis..." and see how it goes. 

It may be that your friend is just not able to give you the support you need right now, and you may need to look into a support group for this. Perhaps she can be your friend in other ways? Friendship is precious. I hope it works out all right. 



You may be on to something here. Your answer to Sobbing was insightful, supportive and, in my view, right on. I think there lurks a therapist within! Me, I wanted her to slap her silly!
Unknown said…
If it was me, she'd be finding out just how digestible teeth are. well, maybe.
Mrs F with 4 said…
Dear Grandmother - I hope it was HER you wanted to slap, not me!?

Thanks for your advice Nan. She has a lot going on in her life.... so I decided the best thing to do was suck it up and let it go. I daresay it won't be the worst thing I get told!
Oh, Mrs F with 4, yes, for sure, her! Her thoughtless comment stayed with me for a long time and I felt so bad for you- as if hearing that kind of news isn't bad enough!
There are many support groups for parents with kids on the autistic spectrum and also they've found a number of kids actually suffer from internal brain seizures so insist on an EKG for your son.
Anonymous said…
I'd have gone for the slap. You are much nicer.
Anonymous said…
How come Chicken Foot didn't get a reply???