Friday, 20 May 2011

The View from my Sofa

Featuring the genius of Samwise, who is going through a zombie phase. Yes folks, ketchup, sharpie and chewing gum can be as terrifying as this! Keep your zombie ketchup hands off my tapestry, dude! (Now look at the picture again and imagine the SMELL of ketchup, gum and sharpie. Very scary, I promise you.)

I've been working hard, my peeps, and soon world domination will be MIIIINE! MWAHAHAHAA! I have been learning things, in my researchings. Do you know, the only reference I can find for a baby being possibly smothered by a cat is from the New York Times archives in 1894? The cat was put down. What do you think of that? I was told so many times that the cat would DEFINITELY try to smother my babies, cats 'suck the breath from babies', and so on. But it's never happened, according to the British Medical Journal and the World Wide Web. Not one substantiated incident. Our cat loved to curl up next to any available baby, and I never stopped him, but I did keep a watchful eye because you never know.

Which just goes to show, there are articles hidden everywhere, if you just look out for them and keep your notebook handy. It's a good idea if your little notebook has a section for tucking in stuff you've cut out and found, so that every time you drop it, they don't all fall out and blow away down the street with you running after them yelling "Catch that magazine clipping!"

Anyway. I'm writing like mad, every day.

If you're considering becoming a journalistic millionaire, be warned that most magazines take a MINIMUM of one month to get back to you about your article or idea, and then since their issues are planned months in advance, your article won't be printed for a long time if they do accept it. If they don't accept your article, you can submit it to another magazine, and wait another however many months. Payment is upon printing. So what you write today will not earn you that Jaguar XFR tomorrow. Alas. So it's best, I suppose, to just write like mad every day, figure out how much you need to earn, and submit as many articles as would earn you that much per week. Eventually payments will catch up with working hours, presumably. Or you starve to death, whichever comes first.

In other news. The weather is still generally good. My mum is here, and we are planning a few days' visit to Appledore, Devon on the boy's week off. I will write there, too, but paper only: We are switching off! No computers, no TV, no DS, however will we manage?

We'll be fine. We'll stock up on books and sketchpads and take a pack of cards. We'll practice our photography skillz. Mum has arty friends in Devon, no children, the bare basics. I'll let you know how it goes! Over the Easter Holidays, we spent a happy day making boats out of flotsam and launching them in Poole Harbour. This is really fun (and the topic of yet another article) so I'll give you a preview: Use any natural, biodegradable floating thing you can find for the hull of your boat, and bang a flat stone into the bottom as a keel, to help it float upright and go in one direction. Attach a leaf or feather to the top as a sail, and launch! Let me know how it goes! My dad (HI DAD!) (Did you fix your blogger login yet?) used to make beautiful boats when we were camping, painstakingly carved with pontoons, masts, sails, and even oars and fishing rods, carefully tied down. Then he would launch them, and they would really sail away. Imagine what people would think upon finding these tiny vessels, far out at sea?

9 comments:

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Zombies, boat launches and articles--you HAVE been busy!
Now I wonder how the cat myth started...

Grandmother said...

Are zombie phases peculiar to boys? I don't remember kelly having one. Hmmm, maybe K's will kick in. Scary. Yes, keep writing. Someone will realize how good you are before you starve to death! Hugs to your Mom and all you all. The WV is blesti and since I indicates plural in Italian, it means you have lots of blests! See I told you so.

Tash said...

You're writing up a storm... great!!!

Have a great week off... see you in August!!!

aclare said...

Yes that writing lark can be frustrating. I was approached by an editor to write an article on how I thought Nannying may have prepared me for becoming a parent. That was MONTHS ago and I don't think it's been published. It's a good thing I wasn't expecting anything from it!! =P But I'm sure someone will approach you and you will be the next Carrie Bradshaw!!

Designing is like that too. I made some cards and wasn't paid until months later.

I think Zombies are a male thing. There is an article somewhere about 21st century males spending more time seriously preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Nan Sheppard said...

The world was supposed to end toady, but no zombies so far. How depressing for the people who have been looking forward to it!

Wacky Mommy said...

we're into the vampires over here. are your boys Adventure Time fans? The vampire on there is scaaaaaaaary.

i love when we go offline, we all get in a good mood and stop grouching at each other.

womagwriter said...

Glad to hear you're writing and submitting at top speed! Not so sure about the zombie thing - bleurggh. Have a lovely few days in Devon. We'll be in south Wales so I shall wave to you across the Bristol Channel.

LceeL said...

Great to hear you're writing as much as you are. You go, girl.

The Mother said...

You are a truly talented zombie maker. If the writing thing doesn't work out, you can get a job in the movies?