Things in London Pockets

Acorns, Haycorns! Pretty leaves, crumbled to dust. Half a ham and cheese sandwich (eew?) Bottle Caps. Crunchy Tissues and Soggy Ones (eew? again).

I met with Mary in Richmond Park, and we brainstormed, networked and all those things that people with desk jobs have to do in stuffy offices. Mary is fabulous and full of great ideas and advice.

Our associates flew kites and hung upside down from branches. It was such a beautiful day. And a busy week!

Train Tickets, Cinema Tickets (Tintin fans, rejoice! Five Stars), Feathers, Nice Rocks, Gloves, Socks, Chocolate Wrappers.

I tried to put Kathryn in my pocket to bring her home, but her Mummy said no. Sigh! Is she not absolutely THE most adorable niece you have ever seen? Why yes, that IS a smile :)

What have you found in pockets?

Kitchen Disco!

(Edited: This was meant to be posted on Saturday, but it got filed away as a draft instead and I only just noticed!)

Last night was Kitchen Disco night at Chez Nan, where we have friends over, eat, dance, drink and sing into the spatula. The food was up to the usual high standard, with Lena's stuffed pepper debut, but this week the Mummies didn't do much dancing, opting instead to collapse in a heap and plug the PS2 in for the kids. We were all exhausted. The kids were thrilled, and got square eyes playing video games instead of running in and out and falling out of the tree.

I temped this week, my first temp gig since I had Chas. Temping is a great way to work! The agency tests your skills and you get put in a file marked 'Awesome'. Then a company calls them up and says "OMG I need someone Awesome, QUICK! to sort out this thing." and your agency says "I have just the gal for you!"

So off you go to spend three days or three weeks or whatever doing something new and interesting, and you get paid, and then you say, "OK, I'm going to London next week so I won't be available," and they say "Cool, see you when you get back." And then you get another new and exciting job for a few days, or a few weeks.

My Sensible Shoes

Flexible, fun, and the money is good. It's a really great option for a budding writer who a) really needs to get away from her laptop and b) really needs the money. This week was great, though I was on my feet for 10 hours on Wednesday rushing hither and thither at a medical conference. I sat down for two short breaks. Whew! Temp Tip: Wear comfy shoes!

And in other News of Wonderfillity, I got PAID for my very first magazine article this week! It's in the second issue of Work Your Way Magazine, which is geared toward freelancing mums in the UK. It's a great new magazine, and I am really proud to be involved! I've written a "special feature on how mums are leading the way as ethical and social entrepreneurs and a fascinating report on female entrepreneurs in the Carribbean". Doesn't that sound great? I will link to issue 2 when it eventually goes online. I can't wait to get my own copy in the mail! For the next issue, I'm writing another fabulous feature. Stay tuned!

So yes, I have been busy.

And, did I mention we are off to London for a week of Cousin Awesomeness and Long  Museum Days? Yay! What are you up to for the half-term holiday or just the weekend? And what have you achieved lately that you're proud of? Spill it, reader!

On Passing my Driving Test

HALLELUJAH! This Trini driver has passed her UK driver's test. Which is no small feat, letmetellyou. I have been driving for more than half my life, of course, but here in the UK you can only drive on a foreign (or even international) license for one year. So I called the AA and a nice man came to teach me how to pass the fiendish test.

The Theory and Hazard Perception parts of the test were no problem. But here, hardly anyone seems to pass their practical test the first time. Over the weekend, I googled "How to Pass your Driving Test" and it was all doom and gloom, people who had failed seven times, moaning about how hard it was. I dreaded the whole thing. I really like my instructor, and learning to drop 20 years of bad habits has been good. Also, there are great tips you can pick up. But driving around with someone telling you what to do and commenting on every little thing is NERVEWRACKING. I had had enough.

The night before my test, I dreamed that I sped off with my driving examiner, and he said, "You are SUPPOSED to use the steering wheel."

I looked around as we careened down the street. "Oh my GOD! Where IS the steering wheel?!?!"

"Look, just pull over here," he snapped. I did, and he got out to make a phone call. And then he just wasn't there! So I got out to look for him, and when I turned back, the car was GONE. I had left the engine running and someone must have stolen it! And then I realised that I had no idea where I was, and had left my handbag in a locker back at the DSA. (For the Theory test, you have to put your bag in a locker.) I woke up completely traumatized and didn't sleep much for the rest of the night.

My test was at 8.10 a.m, the time of crowds of schoolkids, Mums crawling along looking for somewhere to park, harried businessmen, buses, dog walkers, bicycles. I didn't have to leave my handbag in a locker, which was a relief. And the steering wheel was definitely there. The very first thing my examiner asked me to do was pull over on the left, which I did. Then he asked me to turn the car round. Ha. We were in the skinniest street, with cars parked on both sides and a lamp post on my left. I did a million-point turn, forgetting that you should always pull up the handbrake when you are changing from reverse to forward and vice versa (did you know that one? It's sensible. Gives you a chance to look round and not accidentally mash the accelerator instead of brake. I like this rule) and so I got a little flustered. Yes, I got totally confused turning a car around. Once I was facing the other way, I took a deep breath, and figured I was well on the way to failing and would chalk it up to experience. We drove around a bit, avoiding cyclists and kids and buses and such, and then we went back to the DSA, and he told me I had passed.

Well blow me down!

Things In Pockets

• Lots of Conkers! We just can't seem to walk past a beautiful shiny conker. What should we do with them all? 
• Nuts
• Money
• Socks, which drives me mad
• Train Tickets
• Freshly Laundered Lists
• Receipts
• Rubber Bands and Paperclips, in a sort of deadly array
• Blu-Tac
• Grey Plastic Army Men
• Green Plastic Medieval Men 

Happy Friday everyone! What interesting things have you found in pockets this week? 

Restored

Photo Credit: Sam 

It was one of those weekends of complete perfection. On the way there, we crowded into a train carriage, squashing a nice-looking lady and her book. A while later, she leaned over: "How lovely to travel with such well-behaved children. So polite!" I whispered back, "Usually!" and we laughed. But it made me look twice at them. It's easy to notice when your children are being terrors. But when they are sweetly crammed into a crowded train carriage, chatting nicely with strangers, reading, gazing out at the scenery, snacking; a parent can gratefully switch off and read her own book in peace.

Photo Credit: Chas

We arrived in Honiton, where Debs picked us up at the station and drove us 20 minutes to Twistgates Farm. There, Debs and Lisa and I played scrabble and talked and laughed all weekend while the boys ran wild. The weather was just becoming Autumn-y, all the leaves turning at once to be blown away. The boys were exhilarated by it, and wanted to be outdoors barefoot at all hours, stargazing until late, wandering far and wide. They climbed trees, and entertained Lisa's toddler. Chas and Sam experimented with my camera and took some great photos. They came in from time to time, smelling of sweet leaves and putting their icy hands between my warm layers to warm them up.

Chas read 'Of Mice and Men'. Sam read Terry Pratchett's  'Witches Abroad'. Max is reading  'Skulduggery Pleasant: The Faceless Ones' (It's book three in the terrifying saga of a dead detective and his young sidekick). I am reading 'The Glass Castle' by Jeannette Walls, and it's fabulous. Amazon and Blogger aren't speaking to one another at the moment, and no amount of tweaking seems to make those nice Amazon widgets work any more. Alas! But I will still share books here, when I remember to.

Photo Credit: Chas

On the long journey home, the boys and I chatted and enjoyed one another's company. I thanked them for being so kind to Lisa's toddler, and told them how nice it is that we have so much fun together. When our taxi dropped us home from the station, the driver commented, "Wow, they just hopped out and unloaded all of the bags without being told. That's good to see."

It was good to hear, too. If you ever catch someone's child in a random act of kindness or good behaviour, do mention it! Sometimes we need to be reminded. And it's nice for the kids too!

Unplugged Weekend

Like this, only much rainier

We're heading to Devon for a weekend of playing Scrabble, reading, walks (in the rain, by the looks of it) and naps. Best of all, it's with the best kind of people.

How to Finish Writing That Article

• Remind self that it's for a kids' science magazine
• Delete long words
• Delete, Delete, Delete
• Make cup of tea
• See what's up on facebook
• Text friend
• Head to school and search lost and found for Max's jacket lining
• Re-read
• Pour olive oil in hair for supreme deep conditioning, HUZZAH!
• Decide not to go for walk smelling like salade du chef
• Rewrite
• Delete
• Email department store re: purchasing new lining for Max instead of whole damn winter coat
• Reread
• Nother cup of tea? Don't mind if I do
• Rewrite 
• See if anything exciting has happened on facebook since nine o'clock
• It hasn't
• But article seems to be shaping up, all by itself. Weird, that!

See? Sometimes a little procrastination can go a long way. Writing for ten-year-olds is NOT like writing for grownups, and wandering round the primary school looking in the lost and found bins of EVERY SINGLE CLASS was actually quite inspiring. Think like a child! Olive oil head massage I totally recommend as well, because, wow. Now, if I can finish this article today, I can get a sticker. 

Why Teenagers Act Like Toddlers

Parenting Tip of the Day! 

Poor adolescents. I was one myself once, with all the moping and lack of self confidence that goes with it, and it was not a pretty sight. My own kids aren't too bad... yet... usually... But even they have been known to reach astounding heights of toy-throwing and brother-cuffing to rival the worst toddler. It can be baffling to parents when their child goes through this, but new advances in neuroscience are giving us a peek into the adolescent brain. Science may explain our teenagers’ apparent unreasonableness and babyish behaviour.

This is your Brain on Teenage-ness

Babies' brains undergo a critical few years of development. Many neuron pathways become fixed by age seven and this is what makes us, as parents, so conscious of what our kids are exposed to during that important developmental time. We have known for generations that the early years have a profound and permanent impact on our children’s nervous system and well-being.

But new studies show that far from being set in stone, as it were, during adolescence the brain is still malleable and even undergoes some intense reorganization. And this reorganization means that teens' needs may occasionally be childish. If your toddler had an after-school meltdown, you would immediately think ‘Tired? Hungry? Overwhelmed?’ and you would give them a snack and a quiet moment. Perhaps a cuddle and a story. You would make sure they had an early night. We seldom react to teenage stomping and door-slamming  in this way, do we? We expect them to calm down, grow up, be sensible, tell us what on Earth is wrong, for heaven’s sake. We get angry and shout “You are acting like a toddler!”

Aha! Acting like a toddler...

The adolescent years are so similar to babyhood: Ridiculous growth spurts, where his arm is suddenly an inch longer and he knocks things over. Discovering new things about her own body. Being absolutely starving at inconvenient moments. Having a meltdown over a sock. The need for more hours of sleep than he would like. Discovering a self. Being afraid of the unknown. Being deeply affected by a TV show. Bursting into tears and insisting she can do it herself... Parents can actually help a teen to grow to adulthood by allowing them to regress at moments like these. If your teen will still accept a hug and a cup of cocoa and a quiet chat about something very simple, "Have you noticed how that tree is losing its leaves already? We should get some bird seed this week," then that's all you have to do. 

One of the wonderful things about this revisiting of babyhood is that the hormonal soup of teenage brain can bring up, repair and discard useless or faulty issues. If your teen repeatedly insists that you are not listening, for example, then in their childlike brain they believe this to be true. And the best way to 'fix' this is to listen. And listen. When they walk out, follow. When they shut the door, post a note under it which says, "I love you, help me learn to listen to you." When they shut up to PROVE that you are not listening, as in "I am not talking, therefore you are not listening," listen to their silence. It honestly doesn't matter what exactly they are talking about, the point is they believe you don't listen. You have a valuable opportunity to fix it. Teens will test theories again and again, just like toddlers: Testing the rules, testing the limits of our patience. It's up to us to be consistent and caring, just as if they were toddlers. "We STILL don't chew with our mouth open at this table, thank you." 

In some ancient societies, adolescents were shut up in a cave or hut until they learned to act like a grownup, and had a grand re-birthing ceremony where they were welcomed back into society. I know that many of us feel those parents may have been on to something. It's hard not to take it personally when your teenager's life is COMPLETELY RUINED FOREVER and it's ALL YOUR FAULT. Thinking in terms of their childish needs can make tantrums easier to bear. So, the next time your teen behaves like a baby, don't try to reason with them. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that it's just Toddler Brain.