super parenting skillz, yeah!

Things which good mummies and daddies should never say to their children:


"EEW, brush your teeth, bleah!"

"if you ever bite your brother again, I will bite you."

"Just do the homework. I will pay you."

"Go right ahead and jump off. No? Why ever not?"

"He would definitely not make a good pet. They, um, don't do well in captivity."

"Well, DUH!!"

"What do you mean, you've lost your snake?"


"Sure, you can grow a beard."


"Of course you can be a garbage man when you grow up, honey."


"Because I SAID SO."

"If you eat half a banana, you can have a mini snickers bar."

"DO NOT (*thwack!*) Hit Your Brother!" (that's my personal favorite, that is! It's a winner!)

"Put that book down, and go and play."



"Just press on it till it stops bleeding."

"I think I heard Bunty (Grandmother) calling! No really! Go and see what she's up to!"

"You are such a nerd."

"Hit it with a shoe."

"I am asleep."

"You are my favorite."

"I love you the most!"

"I love you three."

I love you five."

"Well, I love you INFINITY! Ha! I win!"


Anonymous said…
What does it say about me that I didn't think those things are particularly bad?
Well, I *am* the mother who told Ass Burger Boy that I dropped him on his head when he was little (I didn't)
Nan Sheppard said…
Hee hee! All of the new parents of sweet little babies are going "GASP! They DIDN'T!"
i am the diva said…
oh man, sounds like the house i grew up in!!
Don't worry- kids are way more resiliant than that!