Things which good mummies and daddies should never say to their children:
"WHO DID THIS!??"
"EEW, brush your teeth, bleah!"
"if you ever bite your brother again, I will bite you."
"Just do the homework. I will pay you."
"Go right ahead and jump off. No? Why ever not?"
"He would definitely not make a good pet. They, um, don't do well in captivity."
"Well, DUH!!"
"What do you mean, you've lost your snake?"
"Outside. EVERYBODY OUT!"
"Sure, you can grow a beard."
"AHA! A NAKED BOTTOM! MUST PINCH IT!"
"Of course you can be a garbage man when you grow up, honey."
"NO!"
"Because I SAID SO."
"If you eat half a banana, you can have a mini snickers bar."
"DO NOT (*thwack!*) Hit Your Brother!" (that's my personal favorite, that is! It's a winner!)
"Put that book down, and go and play."
"Coooool!"
"GO AWAY!"
"Just press on it till it stops bleeding."
"I think I heard Bunty (Grandmother) calling! No really! Go and see what she's up to!"
"You are such a nerd."
"Hit it with a shoe."
"I am asleep."
"You are my favorite."
"I love you the most!"
"I love you three."
I love you five."
"Well, I love you INFINITY! Ha! I win!"
4 comments:
What does it say about me that I didn't think those things are particularly bad?
Well, I *am* the mother who told Ass Burger Boy that I dropped him on his head when he was little (I didn't)
Hee hee! All of the new parents of sweet little babies are going "GASP! They DIDN'T!"
oh man, sounds like the house i grew up in!!
Don't worry- kids are way more resiliant than that!
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