Saturday, 22 March 2008

in honour of hangy-down boobies

While we wait for the results of my Boobie Biopsy (hopefully due Tuesday), let us ruminate for a moment upon the wonderfulness of boobs. Aren't boobs wonderful?

Let us also wonder WHY anyone would choose to have a boob job. The discomfort! The expense! The pain! The sleeping in one position all night! The ugly bruises! For WHAT?? It amazes me that any normal woman would want to have surgery to make her boobs bigger or perkier so much that she would ACTUALLY GO THROUGH WITH IT!! Instead of, say, taking the money and going ice skating in St. Petersburgh. Okay, if my boobs were DEFORMED in an accident or removed due to cancer, then I would want them back to normal. But droopy? I can live with that.

So while we wonder and think, l will re-post something from many months back...

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I breastfed my 3 boys for EVER. I mean, I was a walking boob, 24 hour free milk. I got pregnant while Chas was still a breastfed baby, (yes, that happens!) and then got pregnant again the moment I weaned 18-month-old Sam. So I was either breastfeeding or pregnant for about 5 or 6 years straight. (My Doctor: "Your husband walks into the room, you ovulate." yes, I can see that.)

When I finally weaned Max, my boobs shrivelled up like prunes, a mere shadow of their former luscious selves, and I felt very sad about it. I thought that was IT, I would never have nice boobs again. I was wrong, and they have since recovered nicely without the aid of a Brazillian Surgeon, but at the time I was devastated. Sean suggested having another baby, but I... pretended to be deaf.

One evening around that time, we were hurrying to get ready to go out, and so I jumped into the shower with Sam, who was 3 or nearly 4. He looked up at me with all the love in his heart and said "Mummy, I just loooove your boobies!"

"Awww, thanks sweetie, that's a nice thing to say"

"Yeah, they're sooo soft, and hangy down. Like bunny rabbit ears. *sigh!*"

"...."

Okay, I told Sean about it the moment I got out of the shower, and HE SAID!

"Aww, I like them too babe. It's the lived-in look."

That was when I went to live in a cave. But after a while, I started to become more comfortable with my hangy-down boobies. I mean, Sean thought they were great, (at least that's what he SAYS, bless him) and the boys sure loved them. So what if hangy-down isn't fashionable? Maybe I could start a new trend?! Let's be proud of our hangy-down boobies, people! Show them off! Paste them on the cover of a magazine! Calendars! Soon, everyone will want some! Like J-Lo's Butt, advertising is everything. And we, the forerunners of style, will go down in history!

Hangy-down boobies! Get some now!

5 comments:

Candygirlflies said...

I'm hoping that after those twins, even J-Lo might consider sporting a pair of hangy-down boobies (a.k.a. what one bra-saleswoman called "tear-drop shaped"-- I "bust" out laughing...)

I doubt it, though, don't you??

xo CGF

GirlBlue said...

Why do I suddenly feel like flashing people?

Nan said...

IF ONLY J-Lo would flash her lived-in boobies, but alas...

And GirlBlue, you KNOW it's true! All our boobies need is MORE EXPOSURE!!

Theresa said...

i LOVE how mine look first thing in the morning before the baby gets to them... then they look so deflated and yes, tear-drop shaped :( I no longer pass the pencil test. I won't lie.. the thought of a lil saline has crossed my mind a few times. But I am a wuss when it comes to pain, and after reading your experience, i think i will just buy more expensive ''create-the-illusion-of / false-advertising'' bras.

I know, this is totally counter-productive to your Flashing Revolution.. sorry!

Anonymous said...

I still smile at the thought of my youngest looking at me after a shower and saying " Mom, your boobs look like bulldog cheeks!"
My reply? " So will yours someday!"