Leftover Night ROCKS!

I'm feeling a little single-parentish at the moment. I need my husband here soon. But not having to cook a gourmet feast is good. Kids will eat leftovers without having a life crisis.

My children are NOT LISTENING. So I yell at them, with the result that they continue to not listen. What to do? I need the equivalent of star charts, for adolescents. It's just a phase, I know.

Yesterday, Sam got himself BANNED FOR LIFE from computer games for being rude. So I can't use the 'be good and you can have computer time' thing, which usually works. Drat.

Maybe Feng Shui will help? I borrowed a book at the library that claims ALL my problems will be solved, if only I would move that potted plant over there, and tie my suncatcher crystals with red hemp string instead of fishing line. I am all over it like froth on mauby. I'll let you know if it works.


The Mother said…
Sure. Moving a crystal is gonna make a kid listen to his mom. Uh-huh.

Sorry. Rudeness isn't a PHASE. It's a childhood trait.
aclare said…
Feng Shui for pre-teens? You might just of hit on something there....

Send them one at time to their Aunt. By breaking them up from the pack we can teach them manners! Muhahahahahaaaaa....

Nonsedd - termed used to express the hopelessness of a situation that can only be fixed with Fen Shui.
aclare said…
Hey! I think I should get prize or something.... the next word is...

Canons - this is the closest I have seen to real word! It is the plural of many Canon cameras!!
Unknown said…
If that Feng Shui thing doesn't work out, I have a mildly used set of "Mommy and Daddy's Best Friend" cattle prods I'll be happy to lend you. I'll need 'em back though. Because, you know, someday I'll have grandkids.

My Word Verification is "tryingu". Ya think?
Anonymous said…
If rearranging furniture insures good kid behavior, SIGN ME UP TO LEARN HOW!!! I yelled so much I was SPITTING at my sons yesterday. It's in the air I tell you. And the SMELL! They never FLUSH!
Oooh, rude is bad! Feng shui might not be enough for that. Time for meditations on loving kindness. I think Alcare is on to something though- divide and conquer and get a little help from your friends. Good luck.
It's really "suben" isn't it?
Ndinombethe said…
Ha ha ha all over it like froth on mauby. Love it.

Ahhh, rude pre-teens. I am right there with you. I think I might just end up yelling at mine "Don't test me today or I'll feng shui your a*#" and I'll think of you when I'm saying it.

Aterecal - opposite of 'aterrible' solution to ruse disobedience.
I miss you too my Love Chicken,
I will be home soon with the rod of correction and compassion!

"culat" text shortcut typo,
OOh I couldn't resist,
Used often when speaking to your elderly heifer!!
Anonymous said…
How about...
**I am your MOTHER, I BROUGHT you into this world and I can TAKE you OUT of this world too!!!**
Deadly when used in combination with "THE EYE" - a remote-control device filled with incendiary material designed to explode if any movement is detected within its perimeters. Operates by releasing pulses of high-frequency electromagnetic waves. Classified as a weapon of mass destruction.
My mother used it on us, I use it on them and I am sure my girls are going to use it on their kids too. The 2nd one (who, upon her entry into this world, did not bawl but fixated her scowling eyes upon every human in the delivery room and growled "but where's the rum?") has used it already on her peers to great effect.
The eldest swore it worked on the boys in her class and made them run screaming and howling away from her shreaking "THE EYE..THE EYE, make her stop!!Aaarggghhh!!"


Ehhhh? Is that our parents smirking behind our backs?
"sesses"- Trinidadian term meaning to check out wha happenin man
Nan Sheppard said…
Bwahahaa! You have all cheered me up, that's for sure! Thank you!

Going to Aunty Ailis and Uncle Dan's for the weekend, to help them move. I think there's a shed full of spiders to clean out... PERFECT job for annoying boys!
HalfAsstic.com said…
I have a good friend that was into that some time ago and she swore it works great! I looked into it a tiny bit, but never really figured it out. I am very interested to know what you think.
Good luck!
Islandgirl said…
I say tie them up with the hemp thread instead..get a cristal glass out..fill it to the brim with red wine and position yourself in the room where you can't see miserable ungrateful children. That's feng shui for you!
Hang in there!

Word: Tyroc

- definiton: If all else fails tyroc on them and drop them in the nearest river!

(just KIDDING!!!!!!!!)