Monday, Anti-Chronology

I had a coffee morning today, mummies and little ones. Very few today, compared with last week's crowd. I love getting my baby fix on a Monday!

Yesterday morning, the boys and I went to help a group of conservation types hack back the rhododendron bushes which are trying to take over the whole of Dorset. Fun with saws and other manly things! It was a beautiful sunny day, cold but we got good and warm sawing and dragging and making huge heaps of cuttings. The boys worked hard.  It was fun and great exercise. Afterwards, we took Chas' remote control sailboat, 'Paradise', to the pond, which was frozen! Chas had to sail on one melted bit of the pond. We thought that a motorized rc boat, with a hammer installed in front, would be good for clearing ice. Then we thought, perhaps trained ducks? Or maybe a flamethrower. Suggestions welcome.

When we got home, I said "No, you cannot go on the computer." Which was SO UNFAIR!!!!! I mean, they had helped clear the bushes, right? And they had HAD fresh air and exercise, right? So therefore they had earned a whole afternoon of internet and computer games RIGHT? I am a terrible mother. Max said that he had HOMEWORK to do online (optional homework, due at the end of February). He is going to TELL his teacher today that I would not LET him do his homework. I was unfazed.

Sam and Max said "There is nothing to do!" which is a sure sign that there has been too much computer time here (they have been spending way too much time playing computer games lately). So I said "Go and be bored then, boredom is good for you. Builds character." So they stomped off to their room, where they were soon playing a game where the beds were planets, and they had space ships and colonization strategies and battles. I peeped in, and they said "WE ARE NOT HAVING FUN!"

Chas started building a huge balsa glider. He's not that into computer games anyway.

Then Sam and Max helped me make carrot muffins, which was NOT FUN EITHER. Then they drew and coloured, and read books. BOOOORING! Poor things, I completely ruined their weekends. Their LIVES.

Friday night was Chas' party, and some of his school friends came over. Other friends too! I let them make their own icecream sundaes, which they thought was cool (sigh of relief) and they made a lot of noise banging on the drums and playing guitars and keyboard.

All in all, a great weekend. I am now the mother of a teenager, who is one hundred percent awesome. He's got lovely friends. He's helpful, pleasant, and hard-working, and I am so proud. As for Sam and Max, they may one day forgive me for their traumatic childhood.

Thursday Thirteen!

• Chas will be THIRTEEN tomorrow! He's got style. He's got muscle. He's got armpit hair. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON! I am in awe of you.  
• Sean left for work this morning, and we miss him. See you in a couple of months, LoveChicken!
• I am listening to sad songs. 
• I wish I could GPS tag my grandmother. She's as nutty as a fruitcake. 
• I know forty year-olds who are 'older' than my gran. She's ninety-four. 
• The weather is CRAP. But my vase of tulips is lovely. 
• Asparagus is good.
• Sam says that bagels are a world-changing invention. 
• I'm going to the Tibetan Buddhist Meditation Centre this morning, to contemplate nothing. 
• And I'm starting the Yoga Journal 21 Day Challenge, which actually started 2 weeks ago but I've been saving up the lessons. Check it out! I love Yoga Journal magazine, even though the ads can be a little "Buy these products for instant Nirvana!" I think it's a great magazine. 
• It's so hard to find a decent slip-in photo album! I need new ones, because rainforest damp got into them and some of the photos are ruined. It's so nice going through photos!
• I have nothing to read. Suggestions Welcome. 
• Good home wanted for lively female hamster. We have two, and they are not getting along. 

And there I was thinking I had nothing to say! Happy Thursday everyone!

See more at Thursday Thirteen

It's a Steep Hill

Give me a push up, Dad!

Reposting, cuz we miss our cat

O Cat, you were Lord of the Manor here for many years.

You were amazingly patient and gentle with babies and toddlers, even the tail-pulling kind.

You were an intuitive acupuncturist.

You displayed a keen interest in maths homework, peering over shoulders and nudging pencils helpfully.

You hated Flea Treatment Day, and gave me the dirtiest looks I have ever seen. Quite rightly, of course.

You took taking pills to a whole new level. Oh boy.

If anyone got into the hammock, you would get in too. Then you would make yourself so hot and uncomfortably amorous that the person would be forced to get out and leave you there alone, where you would remain curled up for hours. I know you did this on purpose, since getting into a limp hammock alone is impossible for one without thumbs. Even a genius such as yourself.

You enjoyed knocking down wine glasses, head butting the pantry door until it opened and helping yourself, and lying in the middle of a stalled jigsaw puzzle.

You appreciated Chess with your whole body.

You always shared a bed with whoever was snuggliest at the time.

You loved bedtime story-time, especially the Tales of Beatrix Potter, but for daytime reading you preferred a good heavy Biography.

You were particularly helpful when adding your personal touch to unfinished works of art.

You beat up several dogs, and put them in their places.

You had the most beautiful golden stripey coat, and you knew it.

When a new kitten came to live with us, you ignored her regally until she proved her upright demeanour.

You were a constant and loving companion for many years, and we will miss you very much. We know that you are in a good place now, no longer suffering and cross. There is a cat-shaped place in our home and in our hearts that will never be filled.

Farewell, warm and furry friend. 

Guitar Surgery

We've got a sick guitar! Some people might say "And how many guitars do you guys have now, anyway?" And to that we say "You can never have enough guitars." And some people would say "HOW many?" And to that we say "mumblemumblemumble." My Dad and I bought Sean this great Alhambra flamenco guitar in London five years ago, and it needs surgery... some urgent, and some cosmetic. So today we went to visit Lee, a luthier in Christchurch.

Lee's workshop is a craftsman's dream...

Lee has been building guitars all his life, but in recent years he just does repairs, mostly. You can buy a really good guitar now, hot off the factory production line, for very little money. So you won't get many craftsmen building guitars, spending a year in planing, gluing and loving. Who'd spend enough to make it worthwhile?

On our way home, we popped into a store and, um, bought another guitar. Cuz you can never have enough. Or, as Sean says, "At least it's not wimmen, babe. Or yachts."

Definitely Solar-Powered...

Well it's been sunny! I've had a miraculous recovery. Your advice definitely helped, O my beloved readers. Comments rock here!

Lou mentioned nakedness, naturally. Any excuse.
The Mother, who is back at work full time and would like nothing better that a day on the sofa, was unimpressed with my plight.
Green Girl said to revel in it.
Vicki channelled the wise cookie sages.
Womagwriter gave me a deadline, which always works for me.
My sister said it's the time of year. All very well for her, who's going to a spa for the weekend with her husband :)
And Chennette is worried about the 14th sock.

Certainly puts things in perspective, no?

Max is writing a story, and would like some advice. You can see it here, and give him some feedback.

I do have a deadline... the Spring newsletter is looming. Aaaargh! I'll write invoices today, anyway. I'm having a coffee morning here on Monday, and hoping to find a willing minion or two to delegate to. Coffee morning minions have babies, though, which makes it difficult. SEND ME A MINION, UNIVERSE! One who is organized, has their own microsoft publisher license and plays well with others. Oh, and make sure that Miira gets back from Finland in one piece, cuz I need her analytical researcher's brain. Thank you.

I'll just sit here and whine about it, ok?

I've been hideously lazy. My excuses:

It's cold.
The TV is distracting. (when sean is on leave, we have tv. the rest of the time, it's unplugged.)
Sean is here so we're lazing together.
It's January.
Staying up too late parked in front of great English TV.
And surfing the net a LOT. Reading new blogs. Finding out that there's really a lot of crap out there.
Feeling tired and resentful in the morning.
So I don't get moving properly at all.
Getting fat.
Not even blogging.
Ignoring the kids, who are perfectly happy about it but getting behind in homework and stuff.
Eating junk.
Too much to do, where do I begin?
I'll start when Sean goes back to work.

Isn't that silly? Isn't it time for me to get a grip? I mean really. This morning I picked up 13 socks from the floor. And it was like "WHY are there 13 socks strewn all over the house? Why are the supper dishes still in the sink?" Duh, because you have been slobbing out on the sofa, that's why!

I'm not alone am I? Someone inspire me, please!

Great News! "Southward Leaning Breasts" Set to be Dominate Catwalks in Stunning Spring/Summer Fashion Trends!

I'm not making this up! The UK Sunday Times' Style Magazine tells us, on page 5, that the ad for Jimmy Choo's new fragrance reflects the current mood. The model, Tamara Mellon, is 43. Her boobs are "toned but not solid, southward leaning, as opposed to horizontally rampant. So, generally right for now."

Okay, so droopy boobs may not exactly dominate catwalks this year. But we can hope that this trend will continue. At any rate, if Tamara Mellon's boobies are fashionably southwardly-leaning, that's good news for those of us who are even more hangy and therefore more beautiful. Yes?

All Systems Go

We're getting back into the groove here. I have a loooong list which is haunting me, because I would rather just hang out with Sean than do sensible stuff like getting the newsletter sorted out before the last minute. The boys have all gone of to school. At 6.30, Chas' alarm goes off, and then mine, and then Sam's, and Sam's rings for a while because he isn't a morning person. From then on, Breakfast Chaos reigns.

"So, you know, he wasn't an English King at all..."
"Where is my tie?"
"Hey, can I keep mice?"
"Just eat a few bites. Don't go on an empty stomach."
"Cuz I could breed them to feed Schrödinger and Houdini, I bet it would save me money."
"Drink some water"
"Are you wearing MY tie?"
"No, dummy. Anyway, keeping mice is easy! Like hamsters. They breed like mad."
"Definitely not."
"Why?"
"Because they breed like mad."
"Anyone seen my tie?"
"Put your socks on while you look for it"
"I'm not really hungry"
"How about fish?"
"Snakes don't eat fish..."
"That sounds lovely honey"
"But it's A minor, not..."
"I CAN FIGURE IT OUT GO AWAY!"
"Where are my socks?"
"NO more pets"
"Here, let me show you."
"GO away!"
"Seven fifteen, guys"
"I can't find my socks"
"You won't find them sitting there."
"Mice aren't pets, technically"
"Brush your teeth."
"Anyone seen my tie?"
"There will be no mice, you are going to be late."
"Can you fill up my water bottle?"
"Seven twenty."
"Where is my tie?"
"It's where it is supposed to be. Hurry up. Brush your teeth."
"Oh LOOK there it is!"
"Sigh..."
"Where is my bag?"
"Where is your brain?"
"Oh, VERY supportive." (Stomp, stomp, stomp...)
"Seven thirty."
"Helmet, helmet..."
"BYEMUMMYLOVEYOU!"
"Bye son, love you too!"
"Anyone seen my helmet?"
"Hanging there. Is your bag packed for today?"
"Ummm....."
"You were packing last night. Did you get it done?"
"Yes. I think so."
"I love you."
"You too, bye!"
"Bye... where are my shoes??"
"There. Go."
"Bye!"
....... "Are they gone? Can I play my song for you?"
"Yes."

I saw an ad for a Zen alarm clock the other day, one of those which wakes you gently with gentle light and bird sounds. I thought HA!!! Wouldn't that be nice?

An Afternoon With Mary Shelley

Sean and I spent most of yesterday wandering around Bournemouth, taking pictures of EVERYTHING with the Amazing New Camera!!!!!!!! We were lucky: the weather was nice. We ducked into St. Peter's Churchyard, where the boys and I had been to see the Shelleys' tomb, spookily surrounded by gnarled trees and overlooking the church. Apparently, Mary Shelley was originally buried in London, and was moved here. Sean and I met the lady in charge of the five-and-a-half acre grounds, Brenda, who was tidying around the plants and picking up trash. She told us that Percy Shelley was drowned in Italy, and when he was cremated his friend noticed that his heart did not burn. He rescued the heart from the flames, and sent it to Mary who kept it, allegedly, in her desk. Percy's heart was found there after her death, wrapped in a copy of 'Adonais', Percy Shelley's elegy to Keats.

"I weep for Adonais-he is dead!
O, weep for Adonais! though our tears
Thaw not the frost which binds so dear a head!
And thou, sad Hour, selected from all years
To mourn our loss, rouse thy obscure compeers,
And teach them thine own sorrow, say: "With me
Died Adonais; till the Future dares
Forget the Past, his fate and fame shall be
An echo and a light unto eternity!"

(from 'Adonais' by Percy Shelley... doesn't that make you cry?)

In this shot, you can see that someone has left flowers beside the Shelley tomb. I think I will take some next time I go.

I have a lot to learn with my new camera. I haven't thought about f-stop and aperture since the days before digital, when mum and dad had an Olympus OM2. The Lumix FZ35 works fine as a point-and-shoot (Most of our photos yesterday were taken in either 'Intelligent Auto' Mode, where settings are chosen automatically by the camera, or 'Program AE' Mode, where you can fiddle with exposure and blur your background and play without having too much of a disaster. In both modes, the camera was fast, focus was fast and the images are fine (I have reduced the pixels here). The Zoom is really good and fast too. It would be a waste to use it simply for point-and-shoot though, seeing all of the other fun things that can go on! I'm studying the manual (220 pages, AAARGH!) and reading up in photography magazines, which have great articles on Digital SLR for Dummies.

This camera is terrifyingly light. A good thing if you're going to be holding your arm up while you wait for that squirrel to hop back on to the stump (he did, but refused to pose nicely). It's just strange to hold a bigger camera that doesn't weigh you down.

The other thing I have to learn is the photography software. I am notorious (with the boys) for just taking a shot, reducing the size and slapping it on this blog or printing it out. The boys take my shots, edit them, and say "Look! SEE how much better?" On second thoughts, maybe I'll just let them do it for me :) Anyway, as Christmas prezzies go, I'd say my new camera gets ten out of ten. ELEVEN out of ten!

Le Happy Sigh...

I've got my famileee back, and it's all sunny in Bournemouth, and I got a new camera for Christmas.

AMAZING camera! watch out for stunning shots!

We spent the rainy part of the weekend in Putney, building jigsaws and playing chess and watching the rain pour down, and having marathon sleeps... Winner: SAM with an untouchable sixteen hours of solid snoring. I woke him up by singing a song that went "Oooh, buttery bagels, I love 'em, and sizzling sausages, sausages, sausageeees!"

The boys have been telling us all about their holiday. Now they are catching up on homework, revising for a test, and making beautiful music. Santa brought them all a great Yamaha Keyboard, the big brother of one we had before and left in Trinidad.

I need to go to the grocery and stock up!

2011! Books!

Max and I are pottering around here, he's cleaned out the hamster cage and is going to finish cleaning out his Under-The-Bed-Drawer-of-Khazad-Dum as soon as he gets through a 'really good bit' in his book. I'm wiping up various sticky spots on furniture and windowsills, and changing sheets.

The rest of the family will be back in a week, suntanned and slightly injured: Sam was recounting his bruises and missing toenail to me over the phone last night. They've trekked in the rainforest and built fires and played with cutlasses and knives and eaten strange things, and even sounded more Trini on the phone.

I've been babysitting Schrödinger and Houdini, they ate up their mice on Thursday and Houdini shed his skin and they are perky. Schrödinger looks at me through the glass as if to say "PLAY with me?" Later I will catch Houdini and put him back in the big enclosure with Schrödinger... I had separated them to feed them, as per instructions. I'm pretty proud of myself for doing a good job of babysitting, though I'm really nervous about catching Houdini again. He's an escapist and doesn't like to be held the way Schrödinger does. What will I say to Chas if I lose his snake? I offered to babysit, otherwise Chas would have had to take the snakes to the reptile store for housing. I'll be glad when he gets back!

Much reading has been going on here lately.

Max is GLUED to the 'Percy Jackson' series. He's fallen over things because he's walking with his nose in the latest book. Silly Billy.

Sam has read Carl Hiassen's children's books, 'Hoot', 'Flush' and 'Scat'. In each story, a young person sticks to their beliefs and does something to help their local environment. These books will really suit adolescent and young teen readers, with some slightly risqué language (which thrilled Sam).

Another book which made Sam gasp in the very first page was 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time'. I finished this book quickly, and loved the realistic characters seen through the eyes of an autistic teen, who tries to find out who killed a neighbour's dog. A very touching story, I thought. Sam is not so sure.

We're all still addicted to everything Terry Pratchett, too... I don't know what we'll do when we've read them all, probably cry. And write to Pratchett professing our undying love. We've also been reading about electricity, and drawing, perspective and so on. 'How to Improve at Drawing' is one of those rare drawing books which made all the kids (including visitors) get out the paper and pencils, and draw quietly for hours. They have done some really beautiful work to add to our kitchen 'Wall of Fame'.

A strange book which I picked up at the library was 'The Lost Thing' by Shaun Tan. We all keep going back to this one, and asking one another whether it was a good ending? A sad ending? What does it mean? The illustrations are surreal and haunting and remind me of Salvador Dali, the story seems simple, but the drawings make it more a comment on modern life, government, loneliness??? Loved it, and might buy a copy to keep. 

More book reviews to come! And now, back to my pottering...

2011! Books!

Max and I are pottering around here, he's cleaned out the hamster cage and is going to finish cleaning out his Under-The-Bed-Drawer-of-Khazad-Dum as soon as he gets through a 'really good bit' in his book. I'm wiping up various sticky spots on furniture and windowsills, and changing sheets.

The rest of the family will be back in a week, suntanned and slightly injured: Sam was recounting his bruises and missing toenail to me over the phone last night. They've trekked in the rainforest and built fires and played with cutlasses and knives and eaten strange things, and even sounded more Trini on the phone.

I've been babysitting Schrödinger and Houdini, they ate up their mice on Thursday and Houdini shed his skin and they are perky. Schrödinger looks at me through the glass as if to say "PLAY with me?" Later I will catch Houdini and put him back in the big enclosure with Schrödinger... I had separated them to feed them, as per instructions. I'm pretty proud of myself for doing a good job of babysitting, though I'm really nervous about catching Houdini again. He's an escapist and doesn't like to be held the way Schrödinger does. What will I say to Chas if I lose his snake? I offered to babysit, otherwise Chas would have had to take the snakes to the reptile store for housing. I'll be glad when he gets back!

Much reading has been going on here lately.

Max is GLUED to the 'Percy Jackson' series. He's fallen over things because he's walking with his nose in the latest book. Silly Billy.

Sam has read Carl Hiassen's children's books, 'Hoot', 'Flush' and 'Scat'. In each story, a young person sticks to their beliefs and does something to help their local environment. These books will really suit adolescent and young teen readers, with some slightly risqué language (which thrilled Sam).

Another book which made Sam gasp in the very first page was 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time'. I finished this book quickly, and loved the realistic characters seen through the eyes of an autistic teen, who tries to find out who killed a neighbour's dog. A very touching story, I thought. Sam is not so sure.

We're all still addicted to everything Terry Pratchett, too... I don't know what we'll do when we've read them all, probably cry. And write to Pratchett professing our undying love. We've also been reading about electricity, and drawing, perspective and so on. 'How to Improve at Drawing' is one of those rare drawing books which made all the kids (including visitors) get out the paper and pencils, and draw quietly for hours. They have done some really beautiful work to add to our kitchen 'Wall of Fame'.

A strange book which I picked up at the library was 'The Lost Thing' by Shaun Tan. We all keep going back to this one, and asking one another whether it was a good ending? A sad ending? What does it mean? The illustrations are surreal and haunting and remind me of Salvador Dali, the story seems simple, but the drawings make it more a comment on modern life, government, loneliness??? Loved it, and might buy a copy to keep. 

More book reviews to come! And now, back to my pottering...