Leftover Night ROCKS!

I'm feeling a little single-parentish at the moment. I need my husband here soon. But not having to cook is good.

My children are NOT LISTENING. So I yell at them, with the result that they continue to not listen. What to do? I need the equivalent of star charts, for adolescents. It's just a phase, I know.

Yesterday, Sam got himself BANNED FOR LIFE from computer games for being rude. So I can't use the 'be good and you can have computer time' thing, which usually works. Drat.

Maybe Feng Shui will help? I borrowed a book at the library that claims ALL my problems will be solved, if only I would move that potted plant over there, and tie my suncatcher crystals with red hemp string instead of fishing line. I am all over it like froth on mauby. I'll let you know if it works.

I Hate Spam

Bloggers of the world, WHAT is with the spam comments? Is it Chinese? What is their point? If you click on the link (I did, twice, just to see) you get a blog page with nothing. brand new, like invented yesterday. I don't get it. Is it a program designed to annoy?

I'm still getting 'em, even with comment moderation on, about one a day or more. Are y'all having this problem?

What to do?

Wordy Wednesday's Book Reviews

OH, how I love our local library! It's a small one, but after so many months of browsing and borrowing, I still find gems. The boys come home from school to meet a stack on their beds, and they are delighted.

Robin Hood: History, Myth or Legend? This book tells the full tale, from gutsy Maid Marian to wicked Guy of Gisborne and all the antics in between, with gorgeous pencil and colour illustrations. In the back there is a section detailing the 'Facts', such as that there is no proof Robin Hood ever existed! There are historical references to the Barnsdale Outlaws and real people mentioned in the stories. Thought-provoking information makes this book perfect for teens and young hero-worshippers alike. A reading list is included, for those who would like to learn more.

'Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them' for Harry Potter fans!

A 'school textbook' with a foreword by Albus Dumbledore and schoolboy doodles everywhere, this is a winner.

All royalties from the sale of this book go to Comic Relief, so you should definitely buy it. Just click! 





Avatar An Activist Survival Guide, 'A Confidential Report on the Biological and Social History of Pandora'. This is really interesting, an introduction to science, geology, and environmental studies in disguise.

The book "...has been circulated without the knowledge or consent of the Resources Development Administration. Anyone found in possession of this document faces imprisonment or more extreme punishment." It is directed at 'Fellow Terrans' who are fighting for freedom of information and culture in a fictional future. My older boys have pored over the interesting 'Facts' and behind-the-scenes information on weapons, biology, genetics, superconductivity, octal arithmetic (the Na'vi have eight digits to our ten: base maths), Na'vi songs and language, flora and fauna, and freedom of speech.

My mum spotted 'How to be an Explorer of the World: Portable Art Life Museum' at the Art Museum, and bought it for the boys. This is a sort of workbook, showing how EVERYTHING is interesting, from rubbish to leaves to stains on the sidewalk. Looking at patterns, collecting interesting things and taking notes prepares kids (and grownups) for a lifetime of observation and wondering.

Ahh, BOOKS! How we love them.

Internet Porn: Talking to Kids

A serious topic, and one which our own parents didn't have to deal with. What are the dangers, and how can we keep our kids safer? Head over to GNM Parents and let's get the discussion going.

Thoughts For Father's Day

To ALL the Dads, and the Granddads, and the Great-great-great-granddads....

Borrowed with thanks from the wise and thoughtful Mary.

Thought for Today

Last night, we finished reading 'The Last Battle', the final story in the Narnia series. The last time I read this series to my kids, I stopped at 'The Silver Chair', so this was the first time we've read 'The Last Battle' as a family. At the end, all of the star characters meet up in a sort of 'Heaven' (C.S.Lewis wrote many religious books, my favourite being 'The Screwtape Letters') and we were beginning to find it a little tedious. What happened to the story, my children wanted to know?

Chas, who had read the book on his own, said "This book spoiled the whole series for me." He found it moralistic and sad.

When all of the lucky characters are milling and meeting, Max said "Where is Ginger? What about Ginger?"

"Well." I mused, "This is sort of like Heaven, and many religious people think that people get to go to Heaven if they are good, and I suppose Ginger was a bit bad."

"BUT!" Max sat up straight, arms outstretched, "They all FEEL so good when they get there. They forget everything bad. They can be their real good self!"

And THAT led to a lively discussion about forgiveness and our perceptions of wisdom and goodness, I can tell you. What do YOU think?

Down With Dictatorships! Or Maybe Not

I'm all about dictatorships here, as long as I'M THE ONE doing the dictating, see?

Now, if my sons repeatedly take my nice pretty candles and make them all sooty and mushy and STICK MATCHES INTO THEM, I think I am entitled to yell and rant like a madwoman. They think I am overreacting. I will let my readers vote.

In other Dictatorship News, I'm over at GNM Parents ranting about TV. Again!

This Business of Writing

So! I've been learning about writing, and thinking about writing, and even actually writing, but my blog is suffering! This is amusing. And it seems that if I follow the advice given me by Serious Writers and Tutors, this blog would become a Serious Thing, a tool to further my success. But you know what? I like this blog just the way it is. I need my friends here, this community we've created. I really love the therapy. This blog is a HOBBY, and hobbies are good. Plus, it's fun to just write whatever, and not think about grammar and spelling perfection and How Many Words and What Does the Editor Want and Oh, Can I SAY That? Here, we can say anything! (Go on, say it!)

I love to write. I've always loved to read, and at school we girls were drilled in Good English by the indomitable Mrs. Cumerbatch et al until we could recite Shakespeare in our sleep. You can tell a Bishop's Girl... just use the word "presently" wrong and you'll see her wince and look down to make sure her skirt falls two inches below her knees. So, thanks to Mum instilling a love of reading, and thanks to the training at school, I can write and I love it.

I would like to climb up to my rooftop for a moment, and shout: "Wow, doing a writing course is so cool! You should all do this!" You are all great writers, you bloggies... (Or 'Citizen Journalists', if you please) and think for a minute: there are SO MANY magazines and newspapers and websites out there, and they all need articles. Go to the store and look around. There's Cat World, Yoga Journal, Historical Tractors Monthly, Knitting World, Guitarist, The Vegan, Spin, Glamour, Family Fun, Woman's Day, Field and Stream, Surfing, Cosmo, Crochet Monthly, Frog Enthusiasts... okay I made that one up but I BET THERE'S ONE FOR FROG ENTHUSIASTS!

Okay. I checked and there's 'Frog Magazine' which is arty, but there's also National Geographic for kids and they are BIG on frogs there.

See, my bloggies? You could write an article on ANYTHING, and if you knew how, you could sell it to a publication, and they would pay you. If you visit the websites of your favourite mags, you may even find they say what they are looking for and how much they pay.

So the course I'm doing with Writer's Bureau is helping me to understand this, the Business of Writing. How to turn my skill into a freelance business. I am really enjoying it, it's thorough and excellent. I'm pretty certain now that I can be a successful professional writer. If I can ever finish Assignment 2!

Having said that, I would like to point out that before the Writer's Bureau, for me, there was The Internet and the community of writers here. Honing your talent in public, with instant feedback via comments, is excellent practice for a writer. Whatever you are into, there is a website for you, or you can just start your own!

Some of the more wonderful and amazing sites for writers:

The Inferno, for short story challenges and feedback.

Womag Writer's Blog for short story tips of the trade.

Mistakes Writers Make (And How To Put Them Right), a blog by an experienced writing tutor.

Simon Says! for more tips on non-fiction writing.

There are many more. Look around! Add them in comments if you'd like to share.

Fiction is not really my thing, so far. I want to write stuff that inspires parents and makes their job easier. I want to make women laugh, and be strong. I want to inform. But the business of writing is similar, whatever you're writing.

A few months ago, I downloaded an E-Book, The End Of The Book: Writing in a Changing World. This book does focus mainly on fiction, but it was a good investment for me anyway, full of creative advice. Different from the course I'm doing now, The End of the Book explains how important it is to get together with other writers for creative brainstorming and feedback. It also informs writers HOW to set up a writers' group, if there isn't one in your community.

And while we're on the subject of Books, there is one thing all writers need to have if they are planning on selling their work: an annual handbook listing publications, addresses, editors and up-to-date tips. In the USA it's The 2010 Writer's Market, and in the UK it's The Writers' and Artists' Yearbook 2010. I have also borrowed dozens of books from the library on writing style, correct grammar and spelling and all of those boring things that a writer MUST be sure of. Spelling and Grammar are a writer's tools. Keep them sharp, I say!

I went to a Free Lecture at the University of Bournemouth just before Christmas (Re-Envisioning Journalism), and I'm on the lookout for more. The University Students were a little, well, clique-y. The two people who I attempted to strike up a conversation with made it clear that they were SERIOUS JOURNALISTS and this was NOT a social event. However, the lecture was really really informative, thought-provoking and I want to go back next term! I'll be watching their website for interesting upcoming lectures. Most universities have free lectures that you can gate-crash, and they are very good.

Everyone who is a writer or artist should watch this video clip on my friend's blog: Finding Your Inner Genius is a short talk by Elizabeth Gilbert, writer of 'Eat, Pray, Love'. In this clip she talks about discipline and creativity.

So. I was an Artist, and now I'm a writer. Same thing really.

Oooh, It's A MEME!

Haven't seen a meme in a while, we must bring them back into fashion!

This one's courtesy of my friend Wacky Mommy, (thank you Wacky Mommy!) who knows way more than seven things about me. But she won't tell!

The rules are to 1) thank the person who gave you the award 2) tell seven things about yourself and 3) pass the award on to other bloggers whom you love, and, I suppose, find to be versatile.

7 Things about me: 


1) Ummmmm, my mind goes blank when I get a Meme. So I'll go make a cup of tea and get back to you. 


2) Earl Grey with a drop of milk. But any old tea will do, including a variety on non-fruity herbals. A bikkie will turn my cup of tea into a feast. 


3) Some of you already know this, but my commenters just brighten my life and crack me up. I am impressed with the way you took Comment Moderation in your stride yesterday - you have turned Spam Annoyance into FUN and I think you are all geniuses! 


Yesterdays winners: 


"'tavenes' which is an ancient language spoken in Taverns. Infact in some of the more rural places in the British Isles they still speak it."


"my word is 'cathoma', and yes I do have a cat and she has a nice homa."


"saunc, which I think is something sung by a dork."


"Somebody doesn't know how to spell in moderation world... maybe it's Elfen...or Dragonese..."


"I got 'inflanki' as my word - could mean an amazing Russian nautical manoeuvre to outwit those in pursuit."


Brilliant! Today's best Moderation Words and Meanings will feature in the next post... 


But where was I? Oh yes... 4) I live ten minutes walk away from the Most Beautiful Beach in Britain. Awesome OR WHAT? Today mum and I walked there, just for so, (and agreed that it is the best) and then we walked back via the cliffs and Boscombe Chine Gardens. 


5) We live across the road from the primary school, and I could (If I wanted) watch my kids playing in the playground. However, the kitchen is on the opposite side of the house and it's MUCH nicer and sunnier, so I don't. But, it's nice to hear the screeching of happy kids at playtime, I like it. 


6) I just bought myself a laptop stand and it has REALLY made a difference. I thought it might be a gimmick, but my posture is better and my neck is feeling the eeeease. Two weeks ago, when I had a deadline with artwork coming in at the last minute and layout STRESS, I thought I would never be able to straighten my spine again. A week off with daily yoga and walks helped, but we must all look after our backs, writers and internetties!


7) When Sam goes to sleep at night, the last thing he thinks about is food. Last night as I kissed him goodnight he said "I'll go straight to sleep quietly if you promise to make oven barbecue chicken and mashed potatoes for supper". I poked my head into the room five minutes later and said "Chicken out, defrosting!" and he sighed the happiest sigh you have ever heard and went straight to sleep. I love that boy. Well, I love them all of course! 


For a lovely thing to do with your kids this summer, check out my article this week at GNM Parents: A Walk Through The Milky Way! 






Now, I'm having a really hard time deciding who to tag. So you see my sidebar there, on the right? Those are the bloggers who I love and can't get enough of. They are ALL positive, informative, hilarious, or all of the above. I don't keep blogs there unless I really want to read them every day, and you should check them out. 


So can I tag everyone there? Good. Looking forward to hearing seven things about you all! 

Basil Fawlty, Graffiti Icon, and Our New Pet

Don't you just love it? Our neighbourhood graffiti is SO high-brow!

I can tell that you're all crying over Sam's hair, but the boy could not see! He had this perpetual one-eyed look, like a sheepdog. And he's enjoying telling everyone how traumatized he is, he hasn't curled up in a ball and refused to go to school or anything.

In other very major (and slightly unfair, in light of certain haircuts) news, Chas has a new pet. We had to get up very very early on Saturday morning, after several days of research and discussion (that boy can discuss non-stop when he gets going). Chas said "GET UP! The shop opens at ten!"

"Mmmmmf."

"We have to get ready!"

"Chasbo, it's six-thirty"

"Yes. Well. We have to have breakfast, and everything."

Three hours later, we were standing outside the store, shivering and wondering if maybe they sometimes open early. At three minutes past ten, Chas signed the Animal Purchase Register and became the owner of a 33cm long Carolina Corn Snake.

Chas has wanted a pet snake for ever. No,really, FOR EVER.

You know how most snakes just lie there? Well, not Corn Snakes... they are active Houdinis, on a mission to escape, discover and DO STUFF. They really are endearing, fearless and pretty friendly. For snakes. Chas' snake has a plastic vivarium with great hiding places, and you never can tell whether he is A) in there hiding, or B) escaped, out terrorizing the populace [me]. He exists in two potential universes, until you open his vivarium and look for him.

So, we've named him Schrödinger. It's better than 'Houdini', because it starts with an 'S'!

He eats defrosted baby mice, and Chas adores him. Me, I'm just happy he's not a tarantula. Really.

AND, Chas had his first day at his new school today (seems weird to start at the end of the school year, but the headmaster wanted him to get settled BEFORE next term), and everything is amazing and wonderful and some of the other boys are nerds but even they are nice, and the teachers are really really nice, and the school has such cool amazing stuff and it's awesome.

First day joy. I am happy and relieved!

We're enjoying having my mum visiting, and beginning to look forward to the Summer Holidays. Six weeks to go!

Oh, and comment moderation is switched on, just for a little while. I love my readers' comments so much, you guys are witty, brilliant, caring and hilarious and there is NO place here for trolls and spammers. So there.

Rainy Museum Days, Sunny Outdoor Days, and Everything in Between!

... A Photo Journal, because there's still fun to be had!

We went to London, to stay with Charlotte and Venus, and the first day, it RAINED! So we went to the museum. So did 27,000,468 other people. We all lined up in the rain with our brollies like proper Londoners, and met our friends inside.

The next day, THE SUN SHONE! So we all went to Kew Gardens, with a mission to hug as many trees as possible. Kew Gardens is just so beautiful. We hung out with the friendly iguanas in the tropical garden, and ate ice cream.

Aaaand then we all came back to Bournemouth, with Cousins Charlotte and Venus. Sam had a hair cut. Can you tell he's not thrilled? I just sort of hacked at it all round, so that I could see his beautiful face. Now, I can't stop kissing his neck. I think he's secretly pleased.

For our next adventure, we walked to the station and got onto an open-topped bus (the number 50, every half hour). Which drove on to a ferry at Poole.

And thence, through the Dorset Countryside...

To Ye Olde Swanage Steam Train! Ye Olde Train is manned entirely by Ye Olde Enthusiasts, a lovely bunch of retirees.

And eventually, (Ye Olde Steam Train is not speedy) we chugged to Corfe Village. Chug, chug, chug, chugchugchugchug....

And the Castle. We clambered all over the ruins, ate our picnic in the 'Gloriette' and breathed in the views on all sides. This is our second trip to Corfe, and we're longing to go back! The village needs to be explored some more, and today we found a stream which needs following.

Wow.